Unburdening :)

I thought it was about time that I bring y'all up to date on what's been happening in my little world. I have been okay, but have required a much needed break. Since I can't really do that in real life, I had to break away from something for awhile and that included my blog.

I really miss when I don't blog, but honestly, I've been so meloncholy about everything, I hate to just "put that out there" and bum you all out. I really don't like sounding like a "whine bucket" because, let's face it, we all have things in our life to whine about. Who needs to read about my issues?! However, I'm feeling the need to share. I know that if I share, then you all can pray for me. I need those prayers.

First of all, you know I had been hurt by my physical therapist. I have been hurting ever since that happened. My pain management doctor felt that I should have an MRI to see if there was any damage and since my neurologist was having one done anyway, I was able to send the report over to my pain management NP. She called today and said I now have a herniated disc. Yep - that physical therapist did damage. I'm in worse shape now than when I started on this journey of trying to get help for my back. I've had buldging discs, but not herniated. So, I'm pretty upset. They said I could get an epideral to help with the swelling, but like I told her, the side affects for me are so bad, I'm not sure I want to do that again. She said I didn't have to - it would just take longer to get better. I am not allowed to lift anything, I have to take it easy, and no swimming. In other words, I have to put my life completely on hold. Plus, now my back is worse. I'm very angry and want to do something about this physical therapist. No way should a person who is all ready in pain be subjected to more pain and damage. If anyone has dealt with this sort of issue, I would certainly like your recommendations regarding this.

Second, I still have the bladder infection from the pool at the physical therapy clinic. I mean, I've had this for weeks and weeks! It keeps mutating into something new and then I have to take a new antibiotic. I find this totally unbelieveable! Obviously, I'm pretty down on physical therapy!

We are still dealing with stuff with my hubby's Mom and her husband. I really don't want to get involved in what's happening, but suffice to say, it's stressful and overwhelming at times. My mother-in-law is doing really quite well right now, so we are thankful, and we do have things really worked out as far as taking care of her and all that. It's not a big deal at all and we feel privileged to be able to help her out. It's other stuff that's making things so hard - lets just say outside forces are making things difficult. Hubby and I are pretty exhausted with everything that's going on and, of course, me being in pain and him having his health issues, doesn't make it easier.

There have been other extended family issues, too, and, I guess, tonight I'm just feeling a bit sorry for myself and just SO tired.

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On a happier note, our weather is finally getting cooler. I absolutely adore Fall and the crisp, cool nights make me very content. Tonight, there is a scent of wood-fire in the air. Oh, the joys of the fall season-the smells, the cheerful colors, and the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday.

Despite all my issues and all the stress we have been going through, I am thankful. Our Pastor was talking on Sunday about this very thing. He was sharing out of 2 Corinthians 12:7-10. This is the passage of scripture where Paul talks about the thorn that Satan harrasses him with. He asks the Lord to take this from him, but then the Lord tells him, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Paul then says, "For the sake of Christ then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamaties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

My pains - physical and emotional - are making me weak, however, this allows the Lord to work through me - to show HIS strength, HIS glory. Yes, it is difficult at times, but when I look at being a vessel that the Lord can use, it calms my heart and I remember that I am in the palm of His hand.

Am I praying for healing? You betcha! I, like Paul, would be so grateful to have this "thorn" taken from me. It's a burden - it's exhausting being in pain 24-7. However, as Jesus said, "Not my will, but thy will." This doesn't mean I don't covet your prayers - I do!! I would be so grateful for your prayers for my healing - for relief from this pain; in fact, God calls us to pray for one another. Knowing that you are out there praying for me, gives me strength, too. Your kind comments and emails always lift my Spirit. You all are such a blessing to me! How wonderful to know that we are praying for one another!

I will update you soon. I have SO many pictures and other uplifting things to share. I just really needed to share all this tonight. To share my burden, if you will. I thank you for taking your time to read this and to care. It really does bless my heart!

God bless you - Julie