30 Thankful Days

Today I'm going to focus on another family member that blesses me and that I'm thankful for! I have one sister and she is always there for me. We are ten years apart but are very close. As you get older, those years really don't matter, and we are sisters as well as friends!

She understands my ups and downs with my health issues and never judges me for them. I can pick up the phone and talk to her any time and she is there for me. She was there for me when I got flown to the big hospital with my cut artery and has been there any time I've needed to share my heart.

Everyone should have a sister like mine! I am so thankful for her!!

Blessings - Julie

Look Up!

 As I have walked this road this year of health struggles and pain, I have come to realize that without God, there is no going forward. God gives hope where there is none. When I have no one on this earth to put my faith in, God is the One who is faithful. He holds my entire life in His hands and I can trust him and have faith in Him that He knows what He's doing when no one else does.

It's been a hard journey, not only for me, but for my family. In the blink of an eye, something can happen than can change the course of your life and you are helpless to do anything but go forward and pray each day that you will make it through.

Thankfully, I have had no new infections for which I am so very grateful. Unfortunately, the wounds are not healing properly and they are a concern to my doctor. He at first talked about another surgery at which time my heart dropped to my toes. I have had four surgeries this year and another one seems so daunting. I personally think the reason I'm not healing well is because my body is worn out but I digress. He brought another doctor in as well as his PA and they thought stem cells might work. So, now I wait to see if my insurance will approve this and, if they do, they will place stem cells in the wounds to give them a boost. Oh, how I pray that I'm allowed to get this procedure and that it works! If it doesn't then I will have to have another surgery.

I try to live as normally as I can. I plan out my days and, more times than not, I don't accomplish but a 10th or less of those plans. I'm still house bound so these are things I want to accomplish at home. I celebrate even the little accomplishments because they are huge for me. Putting a meal in the crock pot, dusting, or decorating are reasons to feel good. I was looking at it before as all the things I couldn't do, but that will bring me down lower than I can handle, so I focus on what I can do.

There are people that sustain me. My husband, who is my rock when I can't do anything but cry. He waits on me - not because I ask - but he does it out of love. Ice water, a grilled cheese sandwich, carrying my books from room to room, making sure the pillows are perfect under my legs when I get into bed; these are the things that remind me of how Jesus washed the Disciples feet. My youngest son who drives me two hours away to my doctor appointment despite being tired and in pain himself. My oldest son who comes over and takes on some of the household duties on his days off because I'm unable to. My sweet friend who writes me a Scripture and devotion every morning in a text so that I wake up to God's Word and a reminder that I am loved by her. My sister who emails me with encouragement and prayers, calls me to check on me, and prays continually for my healing; she has known me all my life and loves me in a way no one else can and she sustains me. These are the people who reach out to me, love me even on the hard days, and keep me moving forward. God has blessed me with a loving core group to get me through the hardness of this journey.

I do not forget you, my dear friends. So many of you email me to check on me, leave comments of encouragement and to tell me that you're praying for me. These are lifelines and I am so grateful. You are also the hands and feet of Jesus to me even though I have never met most of you in person.

The key is not to look down at what I can't do, what is left undone, but to focus on the accomplishments and to look up to the One who holds the whole situation - and me - in His mighty and loving hands.

God bless you - Julie

Roller Coaster Ride of Life

I've been riding that roller coaster of life for the past few weeks. The scariest part came last Friday when I went to see my vascular surgeon (who did the bypass in my leg) and my infectious disease doctor. Let me back up in my story, though, so you know what's been going on.

About a week and a half ago, my two in home nurses were here. The wound care nurse pulled my bandage off my knee, with my injection nurse watching, and they both said, "Uh-oh" in unison. This is something you never, ever want to hear from your caregiver. There was puss in the knee wound and a new hole had formed. My nurse took a culture and sent it to both my wound care doctor and my infectious disease doctor. We had a preliminary result on that Friday, but the infectious disease doctor wanted to grow it out. When I went to my wound care center, he was not concerned about it and didn't put me on anything. My infectious disease doctor decided he wanted to wait and see the wound when I saw him on Friday. I really wasn't worried as no one else seemed to be.

Back to my appointment....so the vascular doctor looked at everything, pronounced it looking good and moved on. I had to wait for my infectious disease doctor who did not pronounce it all good and made some ominous suppositions. The hole in my knee is about the size of a q-tip end and tunnels about 3-4cm. After looking at my culture, my infectious disease doctor put me back on the IV meds (2 different kinds, including Vancomyacin) and then proceeded to scare the living daylights out of me when he said, "We need to make sure that this infection hasn't gotten into the knee joint hardware." I asked him what that would mean if it did and he said, "You would have to have this knee joint taken out and a new one put in." The room went quiet and then I started crying. My doctors just stood there while I cried as they just didn't know what to say.  I composed myself and the doctor got an MRI arranged that afternoon with the sister hospital to the one I went to. That was a small miracle because my insurance approved it over the phone and they had an opening for me to do the MRI. I had to lie on the table for over one hour as they did a huge section of my leg to check for infection. I was amazed that I was able to lie there without my back killing me. That was truly God helping me! I wasn't sure I was going to be able to get up...but I finally did!

I am asking for prayer, dear friends. Please pray that there is no infection in the hardware. I'll be honest - I just am so exhausted by all this and the thought of another surgery sends me into panic mode and just despair. I am praying fervently that my knee replacement is fine and that these IV meds will take care of whatever there is in the tissue. I'm asking you to agree with me in prayer on this.

I talked with my sister last week about all this and was in tears as I was telling her. She said to me, "Julie, God and satan are in battle over you." That stopped me cold as I never thought about that at all. She said it was like Job and how the Lord allowed satan to test Job to prove that Job would be faithful no matter what. She said I was the same way and that satan was trying to break me down. I will not allow him to break me down and nothing - nothing - will make me ever lose my faith in my true Lord, Jesus, or to turn away from Him. Without Him, I am nothing! I love Him too much and He is my everything!

I thank you for your prayers, your sweet comments and your love! They truly have sustained me through these last few difficult months. You are all so special to me and I thank God for you!

Blessings - Julie

Totally Blessed

I thought I would give you all a smile and post a picture of my precious - Sammy Joe. Isn't he a doll? We rescued him from the pound 4 years ago and he has been one of the best dogs we've ever had. He's a Parti Color Cocker Spaniel. He was such a mess when we brought him home. He had been horribly neglected (and we think abused), but with lots of love and kisses, he has blossomed into a wonderful friend. He loves to sit in the chairs with an afghan. When my hubby was recovering from his heart surgery, Sammy slept in bed with me. He wasn't too happy when hubby came back to bed, but he has a lovely bed we bought him at Costco a couple of years ago and I washed it (with Downey, of course) and he loves the smell of the Downey and went back to his bed without a peep. I just love that little guy.

My visit with my sister was so great. It always goes by way too fast, though. She had to go to work today, so they had to get back. They live 4 hours away so they left about 6 pm last night. We got to spend about 4 hours with them, though, and it was so wonderful. My sister is really my best friend and confident and I'm so thankful that she is not only my blood sister, but my sister in Christ as well. That, dear friends, makes all the difference!

Okay, are you ready for one of my "thrift store, yard sale find" stories? Oh good, 'cause here it goes! Hubby and I went out to breakfast together - just the two of us alone. *sigh* Just heavenly!! Anyway, afterwards, I said, "I wonder if there are any yard sales today?" He says (as I knew he would), "Well, we could go and see and go to a couple." So, we head out and follow a box to a yard sale. OH my - guess what I got? You'll never guess, so I'll tell you. I got a Precious Moments figurine for 50 CENTS!!! Yes, you read that right - 50 CENTS!!! I looked it up on the internet and it retails for $80.65!!! Can you believe that? Here's a picture of the figurine I got:

Isn't that cute? He has a paper he's holding that says, "Check yes or no". So, so cute! And did I mention it was only 50 CENTS???!!!

Speaking of Precious Moments, my sister brought me my Christmas gift because she didn't want to ship it and risk having it break. It's a Precious Moments Water globe with the nativity in it. I absolutely love it!! I think it's so special that she got me something for my collection. She's such a sweetheart! It's really, really pretty.

I'm so enjoying my Beth Moore study, "Experiencing God". It is a wonderful study. Of course, I haven't done a bad Beth Moore study yet. They make me grow and bring me closer to my Lord. I am so blessed to be in the group that I'm in at church, too. It's a great group of ladies and they so bless me every time I go. I am so totally blessed in so many way. I'm so thankful to God!

God bless you ~ Julie

Praise the Lord!

Thank you for your prayers for my sister! She is home from the hospital now and after many tests, they have determined that it's her rib cage and muscular and cartilage that are giving her pain. She was told to take it easy and rest for 7-10 days and then she will start to feel better. She has been given a high dosage of inflammatory drugs and some pain medication. I'm so thankful that it's nothing serious! Please continue to pray for her if you would, though, because she is still in a lot of pain and she also won't be able to go to work.

I've had some other good news - my sweet nephew and his darling wife are having a little boy in January!! They have two little girls that they love deeply, but my nephew was so hoping to have a boy! He ran right out and bought the crib set and some clothes with the Denver Bronco's emblem on them!! LOL He's a huge fan of the Broncos and I'm sure this new little guy will be, too!! I had a feeling they would have a boy and had all ready bought a beautiful, bright teal blue yarn for the afghan I'm making them. Now I'll actually get to use it!!

Thank you again for your prayers!! I so appreciate all your sweet comments!!

PLEASE PRAY!!

I called my sister's house this morning just to chat and my brother-in-law answered the phone. He sounded stressed but I didn't think too much about it until I asked for my sister and he said, "Well, she's not here - she's in the hospital." He had just gotten home to gather a few things for her and I happened to call at the right time. He took her to the emergency room at 4 in the morning as she thought she was having a heart attack! He said that they put her on morphine for the pain and that they were still doing tests. They have done an MRI and will do a stress test tomorrow morning. At this point, they don't think it's her heart, but they aren't sure either. I spoke shortly with her on the phone and she was still in pain despite the morphine. Would you please, please keep my dear sister in your prayers? Her name is Lindy. I'm beside myself with worry, but trying to place it in the Lord's hand. After all, we know what the Lord Jesus said about worry.

Thank you so much for your prayers, dear friends! You've been so supportive and I know I can call on you once again.