Update and My Prayer Box

It's been a while since I've posted an update! Time certainly does go by fast. It amazes me that it's almost the end of January in a new year.

I went to the doctor two weeks ago today and had my incisions checked and my leg. It was looking so good that he removed the stitches and released me from home care! I was so shocked that it still hasn't really sunk in. I have been on home care since June which  meant I couldn't go anywhere but the doctor's office and out to eat after the doctor appointments, but that was it. That's seven long months of being restricted! I'm a home-body, but it takes on a different connotation when you are forced to stay at home. I had to have my family shop for shampoo, make-up, and other such things. They did amazingly well, but it's not the same as choosing your own things. I'm also allowed to drive again which is so wonderful as I love to drive and have missed it horribly! Like I said, I'm still trying to process that I'm able to do all these things! :)

I have been going a bit overboard on getting out, I'm afraid, and I've worn myself out! Even though I have to be pushed in a wheel chair or ride the scooter at the store, I'm so weak that I find I get tired really quickly. My leg doesn't support me for very long and I get in pain almost immediately but I'm so glad to have the freedom to go out if I want! My husband and sons have been very sweet about pushing me in my wheelchair, for which I'm thankful. I can't push it myself because of my back problems and my weakness so how wonderful to have such a sweet, understanding family!

One thing I've done for the new year is to set up a new prayer box. I did have a composition notebook I had been keeping my prayer requests in, but that just never worked really well for me. I saw this system online over at Life Verse Books and really liked it! I got a really pretty index card box that locks (I don't think I'll probably use the lock, but if I had small children I might, especially if there were sensitive requests in my box I didn't want them to see). Here's my box

I used my label maker to make the labels on my index tabs. I also have white index cards and colored index cards. I'm just using the white ones now, but I'm sure I'll use the colored ones for special prayer requests or urgent requests.

Here's the different index cards

 

I'm really liking this way of keeping track of my prayer requests. It's so easy to pull out the cards during my prayer time and pray over the requests. I think this is going to work really well for me. 

Here's the box I bought off of Amazon, in case you're interested.

I hope you're all doing good. I'm so thankful for your prayers, your comments and your emails! They mean so much to me!

Blessings - Julie

Counting Our Blessings - Link Up

It's a new year and I am so hopeful about this year.

Now to start counting our blessings for the year of 2015!

1.  My wounds are staying sewn up and so far, so good. It's been a month since my last surgery and I'm starting to see the incisions healing up. Such a blessing - such a miracle of God to have my knee and calf sewn up. Praise God!

2.  One thing I've decided to do this year is to be more creative. With that in mind, I've joined an online art journaling group and it's been so great! I was really looking forward to doing this and it's been so good for me! This is my first pages - step by step - for the first week of January. The prompt was to use book paper or other printed papers as the base. I used a text book, some comics from the newspaper and some Japanese newspaper pages.

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I then sprayed through a stencil doily with inks and smeared some more ink around the page. I did more than is shown here, but you'll see it on the next picture.

I added some elements here. A small tag with a January calendar on it, the word, "Hopeful" which is what I am going to be this year, a little pouch that has my goals tucked inside, and finally Jeremiah 29:11 written on gesso covered Japanese newspaper. I may add more elements later on, but right now, I'm really happy with it.

3.  These girls just brighten my days. Cookie and Mitzi continue to get along better, although, Cookie does have her times where Mitzi drives her nuts and she lets out a growl. Mitzi respects the growl and backs off. They play every day and have a lot of fun together.

Muffy is such a sweetheart and here I am with her having a little snuggle.

I hope your year is very blessed! Let's all be hopeful - looking to God for all His blessings and love!

Please link up with me and share your own blessings. You can grab my button off the "Grab My Button" page above. Thank you so much for coming by, leaving comments and participating in the link up!

An InLinkz Link-up

Blessings - Julie

Another Surgery

I had another surgery on December 11th. This surgery was to close up the wound in my calf, however, the surgeon also closed up the wound on my knee. I'm on bed rest/recliner rest with my legs always above my heart. I'm totally exhausted and in so much pain! I didn't have this kind of pain after the other surgeries, so I'm pretty miserable. I am praying that this surgery will work, that my leg will finally fuse together and that I will have no more open wounds after this.

I would so appreciate your prayers regarding all this. Thank you, dear friends, and I will be back when I feel better to give you more information and update what's happening with  me.

Blessings - Julie

Sunday Thoughts

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

Psalm 147:3

I read this Scripture this week and knew that God has led me to this Scripture. What could be more perfect for me? It's been a heart breaking year and my wounds are still trying to heal. Isn't it wonderful how God is so specific to our needs? This Scripture has given me great hope and I'm clinging to it minute by minute! 

I went to the vascular place last week to get measured for these new compression stockings that have velcro straps so I can adjust them and not put too much pressure on the bypass in my leg. Normally, after knee surgery, you wear compression stockings to help with the swelling and all that, but because I had to have an emergency by-pass in my leg when the surgeon cut the artery in my leg, I have had to do things a lot different. I am hoping that these stockings will work and help my legs. My right leg swells so much, it hurts! Praying this will be an answer to this problem and that it will work okay with the bypass.

I was so thrilled to see my Christmas cactus in bloom! My goodness - it's loaded with blooms! This is one of my very favorite plants. In fact, I want to get at least another one this year for my home. I've told hubby to look for a couple - one with red blooms and one with white. That way I'll have all the different colored blooms. They love the sky lights in my house and just thrive. Here's a picture of my beautiful plant!

This plant was probably half this size last year. It's just grown so much! Isn't it gorgeous?

Miss Mitzi had her last shot last week! She was one happy little girl, let me tell you! It was really cold the day she had to go, so I put her little pink sweater on her.

Look at that sweet little girl! She's such a dolly! She is now sitting on command and I'm teaching her to sit up after seeing her do it when it was treat time. She's so smart! She has brought such great joy to my life!

On this Sunday, I thank God for all He has done for me this year. He has truly had His hand on me and I'm thankful to Him! I know He will see me through to the end - bind my wounds and bring healing to my life. I pray your Sunday is blessed and that you spend quiet time with the One who  loves you!

Blessings - Julie

Look Up!

 As I have walked this road this year of health struggles and pain, I have come to realize that without God, there is no going forward. God gives hope where there is none. When I have no one on this earth to put my faith in, God is the One who is faithful. He holds my entire life in His hands and I can trust him and have faith in Him that He knows what He's doing when no one else does.

It's been a hard journey, not only for me, but for my family. In the blink of an eye, something can happen than can change the course of your life and you are helpless to do anything but go forward and pray each day that you will make it through.

Thankfully, I have had no new infections for which I am so very grateful. Unfortunately, the wounds are not healing properly and they are a concern to my doctor. He at first talked about another surgery at which time my heart dropped to my toes. I have had four surgeries this year and another one seems so daunting. I personally think the reason I'm not healing well is because my body is worn out but I digress. He brought another doctor in as well as his PA and they thought stem cells might work. So, now I wait to see if my insurance will approve this and, if they do, they will place stem cells in the wounds to give them a boost. Oh, how I pray that I'm allowed to get this procedure and that it works! If it doesn't then I will have to have another surgery.

I try to live as normally as I can. I plan out my days and, more times than not, I don't accomplish but a 10th or less of those plans. I'm still house bound so these are things I want to accomplish at home. I celebrate even the little accomplishments because they are huge for me. Putting a meal in the crock pot, dusting, or decorating are reasons to feel good. I was looking at it before as all the things I couldn't do, but that will bring me down lower than I can handle, so I focus on what I can do.

There are people that sustain me. My husband, who is my rock when I can't do anything but cry. He waits on me - not because I ask - but he does it out of love. Ice water, a grilled cheese sandwich, carrying my books from room to room, making sure the pillows are perfect under my legs when I get into bed; these are the things that remind me of how Jesus washed the Disciples feet. My youngest son who drives me two hours away to my doctor appointment despite being tired and in pain himself. My oldest son who comes over and takes on some of the household duties on his days off because I'm unable to. My sweet friend who writes me a Scripture and devotion every morning in a text so that I wake up to God's Word and a reminder that I am loved by her. My sister who emails me with encouragement and prayers, calls me to check on me, and prays continually for my healing; she has known me all my life and loves me in a way no one else can and she sustains me. These are the people who reach out to me, love me even on the hard days, and keep me moving forward. God has blessed me with a loving core group to get me through the hardness of this journey.

I do not forget you, my dear friends. So many of you email me to check on me, leave comments of encouragement and to tell me that you're praying for me. These are lifelines and I am so grateful. You are also the hands and feet of Jesus to me even though I have never met most of you in person.

The key is not to look down at what I can't do, what is left undone, but to focus on the accomplishments and to look up to the One who holds the whole situation - and me - in His mighty and loving hands.

God bless you - Julie

Groanings Too Deep for Words

I know I've been quiet lately. I have been struggling with all I've been going through and having some hard days. My hard days consist of being quiet - even around my family - for fear of dragging them into my pit and making it a hard day for them. I have been sleeping, reading, and not much else.

Praying for myself is impossible right now and I rely on the prayers of others. I tell myself that things could be worse - and they could! - but my situation is difficult and has thrown my life into a whole new way of living. It's processing and accepting this new way of living that has me struggling so.

 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. - Romans 8:26

How I cling to this Scripture. The Spirit helps me in my weakness and the Spirit intercedes for me with groanings. I understand these groanings...I have them myself and I don't know what they are but the Lord knows. Sometimes I wonder at this, yet the Lord's ways are not my ways, and He does understand what I am going through and He has mercy and sympathy.

I also wonder at my attitude. I have had months of keeping a stiff upper lip - of being positive in the face of all these health issues - but I am tired. I don't have a positive thought left in my mind right now. It's almost as if it has all come descending upon my heart and mind and I can't bear it. I do understand from my nurse that this is normal. I am grieving what once was and trying to accept what is now. 

I had another minor surgery on my knee wound last Friday. This has opened this wound up and it is large and a reminder that this healing will go on longer than I imagined. When things like this happen, I suffer greatly at the fact that I am struggling to heal and at the fact that I am weak and tired. This surgery was necessary, and I accept that, but it is still a set back in a sense. 

My lifeline is Jesus. I know He is with me even when I don't speak to Him in prayer as I normally do. I know He understands and He knows that soon I will start talking with Him again. I am not angry at God at all - He has blessed me so much! - but I am so, so tired. 

For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal. 

 2 Corinthians 4:17-18

Keeping my eyes on the eternal....

 

Blessings - Julie

Counting Our Blessings - Link Up

This has been a very stressful week and I need to focus on my blessings more than ever. I know I've shared how difficult it is to deal with everything and I see the stress affecting my family, too. Truly, I couldn't do this without the Lord...He is my Rock!

Let's focus on the blessings!!

65.  I went to my wound care doctor last Friday and I have no more tunnels in my wound! This is huge and I feel like I'm starting to see some healing. I had two wound in my knee and one is completely healed, too. It's just so slow...I am very thankful for the healing and for the doctor I have and all the caring nurses, including my in-home nurse. I am blessed!

66.  There has been a name change for my new little girl. Lily just didn't fit her - she has a really bold personality and she needed a new name. She wasn't responding to Lily, either, so I decided to change her name to Mitzi. She is definitely a Mitzi! I haven't come up with a middle name yet but if you have an idea, I'd love to hear it! I still like the "Lou" in honor of my Tammy Lou, but I'm not sure it sounds right. Anyway, without further ado, here's my sweet blessing - Mitzi!

67. I am so thankful that when I feel tired, I can lie down and take a nap. I really fought this for a long time as I felt so guilty, but I started praying about it and I really feel like the Lord is telling me to rest right now in preparation for what He has for me to do. I am so blessed that we have a Lord we can go to over everything and get an answer. I really do need more rest than I've been getting and it's such a blessing to know that I can just rest.

68.  We have had such nice, cool days lately. Rain has been falling here - not really hard - but enough to give everything a nice drink and to cool the temperatures off quite a bit. There's nothing better than being able to open the doors and windows to let fresh air into a house that has been closed up for the summer. Such a blessing!

69.  I've been working on my crochet as much as I can. It's so relaxing and I've got a lot of squares now. Here's just a sample of four...

It's such a blessing to be able to do something I enjoy when I'm not feeling well.

Now it's your turn to share your own blessings. Please link up below!

An InLinkz Link-up

Blessings - Julie

I Am Exhausted

I'm back home - thank the good Lord! This hospital stay was especially difficult and I was so glad to come home. While no hospital stay is really pleasant, this one was particularly hard on me for a lot of reasons.

I was quarantined the entire time. That meant no leaving my room to walk the halls; it also meant everyone who walked into my room had to have a paper gown on and rubber gloves. Talk about feeling isolated! I had friends and family who wanted to visit, but I told them not to because of the inconvenience of "suiting up". The really stupid thing about this is that it wasn't even necessary! The nurse who admitted me somehow decided I had had MRSA (this is the flesh eating disease) and so , of course, this caused the stir. I said to my infectious disease doctor - "I didn't know I had MRSA!" He said, "You didn't and you don't now." So how this whole thing got started, I'll never know.  Even when we found out that I didn't have it, I was still on quarantine because the nurses didn't really want to take the chance.

I wanted to share with you my little room where I spent 7 long days of my life. Thankfully, my husband was with me most of the time which made it bearable, otherwise, I should have gone mad! Here's the little couch that pulled out into a twin bed for my hubby. Outside the window, I had a wonderful view of the interstate and all the cars!

Here's the white board that drove me crazy! Someone had written on it with permanent marker and so this mess was on there. I sat right in front of this board and allowed it to get to me at times. It was on the door to the bathroom.

Here's the shelf with the TV and underneath was a place to keep clothes and such. Please note the "Call Before You Fall" sign. This ties in nicely with the fact that the same nurse that said I had MRSA also slapped a "Fall Risk" band on my wrist so I had to call for help (despite not needing it) every time I needed to use the restroom. It was very annoying!

This was the view from my chair, too. You can see the board with the names of my nurse and tech on there as well as my room number, etc. Next to it is the computer for the nurses that never worked right.

Then we have the door to the outside world (you have no idea how many times I wanted to run screaming through that door! lol) and the sink and all that for the nurses. That white thing on the top of the door is the holder for the gloves and paper gowns that everyone had to wear. It was on the outside of my door so everyone knew to wear the stuff.

A couple shots of my bed and the IV stand. How do you like all those IV's on there? Lots of stuff going in my veins!

Another shot of the lovely hospital bed...

and finally, the chair where I spent hours and hours. I tried to keep busy by reading and did watch some TV, but sometimes, I would just sit and contemplate my situation. I'm telling you, I'm so thankful that my hubby was there! It would have been horrible being alone that long week!

The update on my situation is that I am doing IV's again. Another week of Vancomyacin plus the wound vac has been removed for now because my doctor thought it might be contributing to my infections. They are putting Gentemyacin in the wounds, plus Aquacel (the silver stuff) and they are hoping it will give some help to my leg. I see my doctor once a week to allow him to monitor me and to check my wounds.

This has been a very long 7 (almost 8) months. I'm so tired of all this and am just praying for complete and quick healing. Without the Lord, I don't know how I could have dealt with all this. Even so, I am exhausted...

Blessings - Julie

Another Lousy Bump in the Road

I'm in the hospital again. It's not a good thing when you know most of the nurses by name because you've been to the hospital so much. That's the story of my life right now, though. 

This all started on Thursday. I had the chills and a fever of almost 103 so I called my nurse who said to get to the ER now. I was taken back right away and then told almost immediately that I would be admitted. Then they called my infectious disease doctor who said he wanted me brought to his hospital, 2 hours away. Unfortunately, there wasn't a bed available for me so I had to wait until the next day, late in the afternoon, to be taken by ambulance to this hospital. This has been really a strange sickness and I still have no answers as of right now. I'm being pumped full of antibiotics, having tons of blood drawn and just waiting for Monday to come around when my doctor will be here. 

Please keep me in prayer...for the doctors to have wisdom and my leg to be protected. Thank you so much, dear friends. This is another horrible bump on this horrendous journey I've been on for over 7 months! 

Blessings - Julie 

Why I Do What I Do

It's been seven months since this whole thing started. I never in my wildest dreams imagined that I would still be trying to heal after this operation. I never dreamed that I would have a total of four surgeries in five months or that I would be giving myself IVs or have this crazy contraption of a wound vac on my leg for months. I may have never imagined this, but God knew from the beginning that this would happen. This passed through His hands before it ever came to me. 

I finished my last IV today and am so thankful! It's been three long weeks of five IVs a day, being tired and feeling ill. I'm very thankful to my vascular surgeon and my infectious disease doctor for keeping such a close watch on me and doing what needs to be done. I'm also so thankful to God who continues to take care of me and orchestrates things so I get the best care possible.

"What is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him?" - Psalms 8:4

I think of this Scripture each time I think of this journey I've been on. Who am I that God is mindful of me? Yes, this has been a difficult situation, but it could have been so much worse! God has truly had His hand over me and all that has happened, protecting me despite what men do to me. I had a situation recently that seemed really bad as far as my healthcare, however, it was evident to me that God had put this situation in place to move me to a better place. 

"As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good. - Genesis 50:20a

This truly was a situation like this, but God truly worked it out for my good. I can only sit in awe and realize I can never praise Him enough or thank Him enough...but I'm certainly going to try!

It's not always easy for me to have faith but I can ask God to give me more faith and He does! He will for you, too. All you have to do is ask Him. I know this sounds so simplistic, but I think sometimes we make our faith and our relationship with Jesus much more complicated than it needs to be. I also want to always encourage you when you come here. That is my main calling and if I don't encourage you, I would feel such sorrow. I pray that the Lord's promises and love always shine through all I share. He is why I write and do what I do. For me, there is no other purpose.

Many blessings to you, my dear friends!

Julie

Praise Report and Other Things!

I got the news that I do not have an infection in my knee replacement! Thank you, Jesus!! I am so grateful to God for hearing my prayers - and the prayers of others - and protecting me from yet another set back. I am so, so thankful!

There's so much involved with this wound care. If I don't have someone take care of it that knows what they are doing, it can set me back weeks in my healing. Little things make such a difference in whether I heal properly or not. My in home care nurse is so good. She has definitely helped me to heal and, not only that, she has been my advocate when I have needed one. It was because of her dedication that I found I had another infection. She did a culture and sent it to my infectious disease doctor and I am now on the IV meds again. My doctor put me on them for three weeks and I have two weeks done so I'm on the downhill stretch! Yay! It is because of these situations that I am now going to my surgeon who did my by-pass to have my wound care. I saw my infectious disease doctor on Tuesday and he thought it would be beneficial for me to go there and have it done as both of my doctors are there. I had to think about it because I wanted to make sure my in-home nurse would be able to change days and I also had to consider my family because this would require us going out of town - a 2 hour trip - once a week, every week, until I'm healed. Thankfully, both of these situations worked out and I had my first wound care yesterday.

It was such a God thing yesterday morning as I was sitting doing my IV's. I have to get up at 6:00 am to get them all done throughout the day for a total of 5 IV sessions. I usually like to turn on one of my Christian shows and listen to the Word of God as I'm waking up. For some reason, I couldn't get anything to pick up so I turned on the radio to listen to music. There was a special news bulletin that there had been an accident on the Interstate we take to go to the doctor and that it was closed in both directions for an unspecified time. The trucker was carrying hazardous materials so they had to do clean up. I was so thankful that I turned on the radio because otherwise, we would have tried to go that way. We had to go the back way which required us to leave an extra hour early and drive on a 2 lane highway for most of the way. It was a beautiful drive, though, and a nice change from the regular scenery.

I got this wonderful device

as a gift from a friend. I had really been debating about this after my sister told me about it. It sounded like such a great thing, but I was concerned our internet wouldn't allow it to run, but so far, it's doing pretty good. I love all the Christian programming with great Biblical teaching and all the old shows and movies. There is also a channel of British TV that just sets my heart aflutter! lol It's so great that it's so small and easy to move from room to room. My Roku has allowed me to tune in to TV when I feel like it and also pick the sort of shows I want to watch. So far, I'm really enjoying it!

Blessings - Julie

Roller Coaster Ride of Life

I've been riding that roller coaster of life for the past few weeks. The scariest part came last Friday when I went to see my vascular surgeon (who did the bypass in my leg) and my infectious disease doctor. Let me back up in my story, though, so you know what's been going on.

About a week and a half ago, my two in home nurses were here. The wound care nurse pulled my bandage off my knee, with my injection nurse watching, and they both said, "Uh-oh" in unison. This is something you never, ever want to hear from your caregiver. There was puss in the knee wound and a new hole had formed. My nurse took a culture and sent it to both my wound care doctor and my infectious disease doctor. We had a preliminary result on that Friday, but the infectious disease doctor wanted to grow it out. When I went to my wound care center, he was not concerned about it and didn't put me on anything. My infectious disease doctor decided he wanted to wait and see the wound when I saw him on Friday. I really wasn't worried as no one else seemed to be.

Back to my appointment....so the vascular doctor looked at everything, pronounced it looking good and moved on. I had to wait for my infectious disease doctor who did not pronounce it all good and made some ominous suppositions. The hole in my knee is about the size of a q-tip end and tunnels about 3-4cm. After looking at my culture, my infectious disease doctor put me back on the IV meds (2 different kinds, including Vancomyacin) and then proceeded to scare the living daylights out of me when he said, "We need to make sure that this infection hasn't gotten into the knee joint hardware." I asked him what that would mean if it did and he said, "You would have to have this knee joint taken out and a new one put in." The room went quiet and then I started crying. My doctors just stood there while I cried as they just didn't know what to say.  I composed myself and the doctor got an MRI arranged that afternoon with the sister hospital to the one I went to. That was a small miracle because my insurance approved it over the phone and they had an opening for me to do the MRI. I had to lie on the table for over one hour as they did a huge section of my leg to check for infection. I was amazed that I was able to lie there without my back killing me. That was truly God helping me! I wasn't sure I was going to be able to get up...but I finally did!

I am asking for prayer, dear friends. Please pray that there is no infection in the hardware. I'll be honest - I just am so exhausted by all this and the thought of another surgery sends me into panic mode and just despair. I am praying fervently that my knee replacement is fine and that these IV meds will take care of whatever there is in the tissue. I'm asking you to agree with me in prayer on this.

I talked with my sister last week about all this and was in tears as I was telling her. She said to me, "Julie, God and satan are in battle over you." That stopped me cold as I never thought about that at all. She said it was like Job and how the Lord allowed satan to test Job to prove that Job would be faithful no matter what. She said I was the same way and that satan was trying to break me down. I will not allow him to break me down and nothing - nothing - will make me ever lose my faith in my true Lord, Jesus, or to turn away from Him. Without Him, I am nothing! I love Him too much and He is my everything!

I thank you for your prayers, your sweet comments and your love! They truly have sustained me through these last few difficult months. You are all so special to me and I thank God for you!

Blessings - Julie

Sunday Thoughts

He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.  - Psalm 91:4

That gorgeous picture was made for me by my friend, Molly. She gave it to me as an encouragement not knowing that this is one of my most favorite Scriptures of encouragement and comfort. Isn't it adorable? I love it and was so blessed that she would give me something so beautiful.

We had a quiet, yet lovely, 4th of July. I felt good enough to throw some ribs in the oven and made a pan of baked beans. I had help - thankfully - otherwise I can't do it all. I'm having to still be very careful about how much time I spend on my leg. At nightfall, we sat on our porch and watched the fireworks. They were so gorgeous this year! Lots of special ones like hearts, smiley faces, and flowers.

Isn't that amazing? We have watched the fireworks from our home since they started doing them in our town, 19 years ago. It's so nice to not have to go out into the crowds but to stay home, in our jammies if we want, and watch. My son put together a patriotic playlist that he played as we watched. It was wonderful.

My wounds are getting better! I have a home health care nurse that is really good at wound vacs and she even came on Saturday - her day off! - to change it. She's very protective of her patients and takes her time and does the wound care properly. I am so thankful to have a nurse that knows what she's doing. I had two nurses before her that didn't understand how to do the wound vac and it was a disaster! If you don't do it right, you can cause damage and take steps backwards in the healing process. One of my wounds on my knee is actually healed! Praise God!

I had kind of a down day last week when I realized that I couldn't sit at my table and paint without my leg swelling up like a balloon. I reached out on facebook to see if anyone had any ideas of how I could paint from my recliner. It was so sweet how many wonderful ideas and concerned friends I have. I was feeling so down, just having my friends understand, was a comfort. My son decided to take matters into his own hands and is going to build me a table that can be swiveled in front of me to work on and then swiveled out of the way when I need to get up. I have an amazing son who really cares and understands that I need to have a creative outlet while I'm recuperating.

I did do some cross stitch this week on my big project. It doesn't look like it, but I worked on it for hours. There are so many floss colors and so many changes that it takes a long time to just put in a few stitches. I'm really enjoying it, though, and here's a picture of what it looks like now.

I've done a bit of back-stitching, too, and plan on getting it done as I go along. That's my least favorite thing to do and so I thought it would be easier to do it in small sections as I go. It also really helps to define things and gives me a clear idea of what it's going to look like. I'm so excited about this piece and am hoping to have it done in time for Christmas. It's just huge and has lots of colors so it's going to take longer than usual.

I'm also working on a small project that is really cute. I like having something small that I can finish quicker so I have some finished projects, too.  I'll share a picture of that when I get more stitches in and you can tell what it's going to look like. Right now, I just have the background color in so it's not real inspiring.

Praying your Sunday is full of quiet time with the Lord and contemplation over all His blessings in your life.

Blessings - Julie

A Bit Of A Vent

This has been a tough day. Just to warn you, this will be a bit of a venting post. I am sharing the picture of the Yorkie because I'm really missing my Holly. I've really tried to be brave about losing her, but today, the tears flow because I miss my little friend. I haven't had time to really grieve because I've been dealing with so much but today it's really hit me.

I have had a horrible headache for two days because of the IV meds I'm on and add to that only 5-6 hours of sleep a night, and you have a basket case. Then add to that the fact that my home visiting nurse that is doing my wound vac really doesn't know what she's doing and I'm really a basket case.

She has done it twice and both times, there has been a problem. I called them last night to tell them that it wasn't doing anything. It's on and it's making noise, but there is nothing going into the canister, which is unheard of. I never heard back from the nurse! I had to call her again this afternoon and she's getting my nurse to come out here. I was quite annoyed that she never bothered to call me back and then acted like I was bothering her. I don't call unless there's an issue and I wouldn't be having an issue if the nurse knew what she was doing. She's very nice, but I don't think she has ever done a wound vac before. When she removed it on Friday, I had a black and blue ring completely around the wound which is something I've never had. I shudder to think what it's going to look like today when she removes it. I have had so many problems with this wound and just had surgery on it 2 weeks ago. I don't need someone to screw it all up!  (See, I told you I was going to vent!)

I guess I'm just feeling a bit sorry for myself today. I hardly ever have this but when I do, it hits me with full force. If you think of it, please say a prayer for me - I could sure use it!

Blessings - Julie

I Have My Own Circus, I Don't Need Someone Else's!

What a week - and it's only Wednesday! lol I've had a bit of a set back with my leg. It got quite swollen again and my wound care doctor was concerned enough to have me go and get another ultrasound. Unfortunately, the tech I had doing it, was totally confused by my wound vac and could never find my bypass even though I showed her exactly where it ran in my leg. She kept complaining about the tape on my leg, as well. I just had a ultrasound done with another tech in the same hospital and she was able to see everything just fine. I really feel like I totally wasted my time and energy going this time and I have a feeling that this ultrasound isn't going to tell my doctor anything. It really does matter who you get to do your testing!

I put in a call to my surgeon and my infectious disease doctor yesterday to let them know what's going on. I haven't heard from them, yet, but I'm not surprised as I know how incredibly busy they are. I do know they will get back to me, though.

I had my first nurse visit today for my wound care. Three nurses descended on my house - my regular nurse, her supervisor, and a trainee. There was a lot of paperwork to fill out and then they finally got down to the wound care. I liked my nurse very much and I think it's going to help me so much not having to go out three days a week to my wound care center. I'm not allowed to drive yet, so if I go out, that means someone else has to take me. Plus, it was really exhausting going out. I'm so happy that I'll have this in home care for now as I think it will help me in my healing and make things easier for me and my family.

Speaking of family, my poor hubby has hurt his back. This happened while I was in the hospital. We thought he had gout, but then I realized when I got home that the pain wasn't in his joints, but down the back of his leg. Boy, did that sound familiar! I live with that kind of pain all the time. We got him to the doctor and, sure enough, he probably has a herniated disc. This has put him out of commission for the most part, so having my home health care is going to help him, too.

I decided that I'm probably not staying off my leg enough and have been having it elevated and I also sent out the prayer requests on my FB page. I'm seeing a wee bit of improvement today and I'm so thankful! I have a hard time just staying off my leg, but I'm seeing it's a must or I'm going to have a relapse and I really don't want to do surgery again.

One thing I've come to realize through all this is that the Lord is showing me I was right about a relationship in my life. I was uneasy about this woman - she always made me feel rather stupid and she is very prideful and self-righteous - but I tried to be her friend and be kind. However, during this botched surgery and all the crazy health issues I've had because of it, it was truly revealed to me that this is not a good relationship and it was based on what I could do for her. When it was evident I couldn't or wouldn't do this thing, she has really shown her true colors. I had been praying about this situation and God has truly opened my eyes. Despite this, I still feel a bit of hurt and it's hard for me to accept that someone would act this way. I'm in prayer that the Lord would just help me to let this go.

I saw this the other day and I just loved it. I tend to get caught up in other people's stuff and this is a great reminder that it's just not something I want to do anymore.

On that note, I shall bid you adieu and pray that God's blessings will be upon you this week!

Blessings - Julie

I'm Home Again

I am home from the hospital - which is such a nice thing! I got released late Monday night and this week has just been overwhelming with nurse visits and doctor visits. I'm so tired!

I have several infections and so they sent me home with a picc line and I'm having to give myself push meds and IV's through the line. It's all a new experience! My youngest son has really helped me and he learned to do the IV's, too, just in case I'm too tired or unable to do everything myself. So far, I'm doing good with it and I always believe in taking personal responsibility for caring for myself as much as possible. I can't do a whole lot, so what I can do, I do. So far, I'll be doing this for two weeks but it really depends on what my blood work shows. 

I'm still on the wound vac and even though the wound is larger now because of the amount of dead tissue and infection the doctor had to remove, it looks better and healthier. I'm so very thankful that I got this surgery done as I truly wonder if this infection would have eventually just taken over my body and I would have had all kinds of horrible problems.

I don't have a lot of news other than health news right now. I haven't been up to doing much but read and study my Bible. However, I would rather study my Bible and read than anything else anyway so it's all good. I'm hoping this weekend I'll be able to catch up on my rest because I won't have to go anywhere or have any nursing visits. I haven't been able to sleep in since I've been home so I've been running on about 5-6 hours of sleep. Not enough, my friends! lol

I hope you have a wonderful weekend and happy Father's Day to all those dads out there!

Blessings - Julie

Good Days & Bad Days

I am sorry I haven't written a personal post for a few days! My days are just filled with therapies and doctor appointments and then I'm exhausted! I also don't want to bore you with all the details of these said activities! lol

I will share that I did get into the Wound Care Center and, I believe, this is going to help me finally get the healing I need! It was an amazing experience because when I was called back, the first nurse I saw is someone from my church and she said she had been praying for me through all this. This calmed my heart so much! I was a nervous wreck before this appointment because of all the crazy things that have happened. Then she told me that the NP who would be working on my wounds also goes to my church. *insert huge sigh here* God is so good to orchestrate exactly what we need. Anyway, they really know what they are doing and I will also be getting the supplies I need at home to help me take care of my wounds. I never could get anything like this from my surgeon as he was quite adamant that he wasn't getting reimbursed for these supplies and he didn't want to have to pay for them. What is so ridiculous is that if he would have just contacted my insurance company, he would have found out that they do cover the supplies through a medical supply company that I already use. They cleaned up the wounds, which wasn't painful at the time because they used a numbing cream ahead of time. However, I have been in a lot of pain since, but it's a good pain because I know it's helping my body to grow healthy tissue.

They did bring up the wound vac. Remember how the surgeon kept bringing this up and I didn't want to do it because I would have to be put under again? I asked them who would do it and they told me they did it there. I then told them I really didn't want to be put under again...they looked at me like I had alligators crawling out of my ears! They said, "You don't get put under to put a wound vac on. It is a topical device that just goes over the wounds." They thought I was confused but my son piped up and said, "No, he told us he wanted to put on a wound vac." I heard it each and every time I went in there so I knew it was a wound vac. All I have to say about this is, "Hmmmm.....".

Holly is slowly getting sicker. She is still eating and drinking but I notice she's sleeping a lot more. She's not in pain, thank the Lord, so we are just keeping her comfortable and giving her whatever she wants. My heart just breaks at the thought of losing her but it's all in God's hands and I know I must accept what is. She's been such a good dog and such a sweet companion. That's what I'm focusing on and thankful that I had the time I did with her.

I am crocheting and I did get my painting table cleared off (again!) but by the time I did that, I was too tired to paint! lol At least it's ready for when I am ready. I have my good days and my bad days and I'm learning it's okay to rest when I need to rest.

I'm so thankful for your sweet comments and encouragements! They mean so much to me!

Blessings - Julie