Monday, November 7, 2011

Blue Funk

Today was a hard day for me in so many ways.  I had another bad night but had to wake up early to go to my doctor appointment.  You all know - I don't do early - and why I scheduled it for early, I'll never know.  Anyway, to make matters worse, I woke up to snow outside. Now snow is fine as long as I don't have to go out in it, but I did. We made it out okay because there was enough snow on the ground and cold enough, the dirt hadn't turned to mud yet.  My doctor appointment went well ...blood sugars down, cholesteral down, good cholesteral up...nice to have some good news for once! 

My doctor asked me suddenly what church I went to.  I told him and he said, "That's where we go!".  I knew my doctor was a Christian because he acts like one, but I was so happy and blessed to know he goes to my church.  We talked about what God was doing in my life through all this pain and it was really a blessing. 

We drove home and by this time our roads were a mushy mess and we barely made it to our parking place at the door.  My oldest son had shoveled off the ramp to our house and put down sand, and that was such a sweet blessing to come home to. 

Something came in the mail today that just made me revisit old hurts and made me really question whether anyone ever really changes.  This put me in a blue funk and, after eating some breakfast, I promptly went in, sat in my recliner, covered myself with a blanket and slept the rest of the afternoon away.  When I awoke, it was dark out and I was still mulling over all these things in my mind and feeling hurt all over again.  How much easier to put up a wall around my heart than to allow people to stomp my soft heart to smithereens. 

I finally got myself over this pity party and decided I can't help what other people do - but I can help what I do and I'm going to live my life for the Lord.  However, I'm not going to keep putting my heart out there to people who want to just stomp my heart to pieces. 

Tomorrow is my birthday!! I'm going to be 50 years old!!!!! How in the world did this happen?!! I guess like my sweet friend said to me the other day - it's just a number. This number does kinda hurt, though.  lol

God bless you - Julie


  1. I'm sorry for what you got in the mail. I've received something in the mail like that before. I think sometimes the best thing to do is not even open it, if you know that it may cause hurt. I'm glad that you got a good doctor report and that your doctor goes to your church. That does mean a lot. I'll keep you in my prayers. Blessings!

  2. Happy, Happy Birthday! May your day be filled with lots of blessings on this special day the Father ordained for you.


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