Just when you think things are going to settle down, think again! I know, I live it!
Monday, my children went to their Grandmother's house because we decided that she would enjoy DirectTV. She loves the Western channel and TCM, so we knew that would be a nice thing for her to have. My sons arrive and she's on a rampage to get out of the house. I'm telling you, this woman can't stand to be in her home for very long. She wants to go out to eat at McD's all the time and talk to all the people. It's rather disconserting because this particiular McD's is the 2nd busiest in our state and there are A LOT of transients that come in there. Hitchhikers abound in this particular restaurant and she tells them everything! We have even heard her telling perfect strangers exactly where she lives! Very frightening. Anyway, they tell her, "No, Grandma. We need to wait until after the TV guy gets here and finishes installing everything. We have to be here for him." He arrives and she again wants to leave the house, NOW! They tell her again that they have to wait until he finishes. My boys tell me she was just rushing around and wanting to leave RIGHT NOW! She was angry and having kind of a temper tantrum.
During all this, I return a phone call to my oldest son. We are talking and I hear him say, "Are you all right, Grandma?" in a very frantic tone. Then I hear him telling his younger brother not to move her. Oh, man. I'm trying to find out what happened and my son comes back on the line and says, "Mom, Grandma fell. We shouldn't move her, right?" Right! I tell him to call 911 immediately and not to move her. The EMT's arrived in 2 minutes, which was really amazing. They stabilize her and my son goes by ambulance to the nearest hospital - 30 minutes away - while my youngest stays and get the TV installer to finish up. X-rays are done and guess what? Yep - you got it - she broke her hip!
I guess what happened is she was just determined to go to McD's and so was going out to the truck to get her stuff in there. She was rushing around and turned around too quickly, tripped and fell in the gravel driveway. Remember, she's 85. She shouldn't be rushing anywhere. She wouldn't listen to my son's about the fact that they had to wait - she wanted to go NOW! I'm telling you, I have my tickets for Crazytown and I'm going to use them if someone doesn't stop me!
So - she is in the hospital - had her surgery on Tuesday (yesterday) and called my hubby today and wants to come home NOW!! Do you see a pattern here? *SIGH* However, she will be going to a rehabilitation facility after the hospital. She needs therapy and will need help with taking care of herself. The fact that I'm disabled from back and knee issues and my hubby just had open heart surgery a little over a year ago, does not make us candidates to take care of her. We could never bathe her or pick her up if she fell. Plus, we have no place for her here. Her home has stairs and one bedroom, so that's out, too. I know she's going to have a fit when she's told she will be going there. Frankly, I don't plan on being there when she's told. She will stay there at least 2 weeks and then we will see how she's doing. We are just taking this one day at a time, basically.
I don't think this would be so hard on us if we hadn't been through so much in the past 4 years. My cancer & 2 surgeries and radiation; hubby's cancer & surgery; hubby's open heart sugery; father-in-law going into the VA extended living center; packing up their home; moving her things to the smaller place; plus all the other little things we all have to deal with on a daily basis. We are just exhausted - depleted - physically, mentally and emotionally. It seems like we get through one thing only to be dealing with some major life-altering situation.
I know that God is in control. In fact, I couldn't have gotten through all these things without Him, but I feel so tired! I know that the Lord "has plans for my life" (Jeremiah 29:11); I know all these things, but right now, I'm just tired. My hubby feels the same way. He looks so very tired. He's not sleeping well and all this has been very hard on him. I feel very concerned about what this is doing to him, too.
Your prayers are greatly appreciated. I know I've share here before that my mother-in-law has nothing but scorn for the Lord and those who believe in Him. This is hard. She always tells me how much she appreciates all I do for her - that I take wonderful care of her - that I'm good to her. Where does she think I get the love to do all this? From Jesus! He gives me the love and care to share with her, even when my flesh doesn't feel like it. I wonder if she will ever understand that? Probably not.
Thanks for letting me share all this with you. We will go on - we will take care of her - we will do what we need to do for her. We will, with God's strength, do what He calls us to do in all areas of our lives. Just pray that we will be refreshed by the Lord so we can go on. We are so terribly exhausted.
God bless you - Julie
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I can see a pattern here. Grandma is elderly and is childishly determined to have her way. Even your sons will grow weary of her care and may resent all the time she pulled from them. She isn't a real good influence. I've had a similar situation and you are to ill and your husband to care for her. You could easily lose your husband or even more of both of your health trying to care for her. I'd say it could be that leaving her at the nursing home indefinately and maybe for good would be something to look at. She can have medication to calm her and she would enjoy life more with all the attention and you would have some peace. Just my thoughts. I had good health before my mother became so demanding. I do not have good health now and it is a direct result of my mothers selfishness although I love her dearly. Prayers and blessings to you.
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