Counting Our Blessings - Linkup!!

I had my second round of chemo yesterday on Monday. I've had two fairly decent weeks after the horrible week right after my last chemo treatment. I've been extremely tired, but I think that's just something that comes with this. My sleep has been off, with me being up all night and then sleeping during the day. This, too, is from the chemo.

One thing I've been doing is my quiet time in the middle of the night. It really is quiet! 😄 I always do my In Touch devotional from Charles Stanley and then add my Bible reading and other devotional readings. I've also been working on my gratitude book that my youngest son got me.

I also finished my hat that I was crocheting. I was spurred on because my hair is falling out in clumps now. It's been rather disconcerting but, again, it's part of the chemo. I made two roses for my hat as well - one pink and one turquoise. I will simply pin them on depending on what outfit I want to wear.

Here it is with the pink rose...

Here I am with my hat on with the blue rose.  My birthday was last Friday and I'm holding the beautiful cake my husband got for me. It was as delicious as it was pretty!

After my last surgery, I started a doily and have had it finished for quite some time. I wanted to share a picture of that, too.  I just love the texture in this doily! The first picture shows the texture so beautifully!

However, this is not the true color of the doily so I took a picture with a flash to show you the true color. It loses the detail but you can at least see the true blue color. 😊

I absolutely love it! I'm making another doily in pink that is oval but haven't worked on it for a while. It's quite tricky and I just don't have the energy for it right now. However, I'm working on my fall pumpkin doily and will try an finish it in time for Thanksgiving.  We shall see - it will really depend on how bad my side effects from the chemo are this time. It is what it is.

I feel like I'm going to be better prepared for this chemo treatment. I saw my pain management doctor and he put me on a regiment of pain medicine as well as nerve pain medicine. He also gave me lots of nausea medicine so I will be protected there, too. He told me to make sure I take everything the day of chemo and from then on for the hard days. I'm praying that this will stop the horrible pain I had last time and get me through those hard days better. My Oncologist also gave a me a couple new medicines to help with the side affects and to help me just sleep for those two really bad days. I was so nervous and anxious today that she gave me something in my IV to help me to calm down. I slept for 2 hours! Plus, I was very calm! lol 😂😉

Driving home from Phoenix, the moon was coming up and it was so beautiful over the desert! Here are some pictures I took from the truck and, while they aren't the best, they are still so beautiful!

Isn't it gorgeous? I just reminds me that the Lord has created everything. My heart worships Him for who He is and how He holds everything in His hands, including me.
A beautiful Scripture depicting this is Psalm 148:1-6

Hallelujah!

Praise the Lord from the heavens;

praise Him in the heights.

Praise Him, all His angels;

praise Him, all His hosts.

Praise Him, sun and moon;

praise Him, all you shining stars.

Praise Him, highest heavens,

and you waters above the heavens.

Let them praise the name of Yahweh,

for He commanded, and they were created.

He set them in position forever and ever;

He gave an order that will never pass away. 

*Check this Scripture out on BibleGateway to read the entire chapter and to find out more about it in the study notes they provide. Here's the direct link to this Scripture HERE

This happened on Saturday. 

You could probably see in the picture on my birthday how little hair I had peeking out from under the hat. It was really quite silly looking and so I asked my son to just take the clippers to what was left of my hair. As much as I was dreading it, it really hasn't been horrible and I am looking on the bright side of it. I don't have to shampoo my hair or style it. I feel much cooler, and I get to wear great hats of all types as fashion statement! I actually crocheted myself another hat - a beanie to be exact - and here I am in my new little hat.

I really like this hat because it's super soft and lightweight. I'll probably make more in different colors. 

I have been so blessed with continued cards coming in the mail and more sweet gifts from friends. Oh, how these bless me and touch my heart! They also give me strength because I know I'm being thought of and, believe me, as I'm going through this, I need to know I'm being thought of and prayed for.  I also had a dear friend bring us soup, rolls and flowers one evening. What a blessing! It's not always easy to make food as we are all exhausted. I have had so many blessings to count! I hope that you have had the same. 

My prayer request is that this round of chemo will not be as hard on me and that my pain will be well controlled.  I'm also asking for prayer regarding my surgery.  They will be doing a CT scan after the third round of chemo to see if the little spots on my lung and liver are gone.  If they are, they will then do the hysterectomy! I feel like this will give me a big boost to get the offending organ that is producing this cancer out of my body. Would you please pray that this will be so? I may to still to more chemo, however, I feel that getting the thing that's making the cancer out of my body will really help me to eradicate the rest of the cancer! 

Thank you all so much for the comments, emails, cards, gifts, encouragement and, most of all, your prayers! I have been so well love through all this and I am so grateful! It gives me such a boost and gives me the strength to fight this and stay strong! 

I would love for you to share your own blessings on the Linky below! Share anything at all that you would like. I see so many wonderful things here that are fun and encouraging! 

Many blessings to you, my friends - Julie

In This Life, We Will Have Tribulations...

And when they had preached the gospel to that city and made many disciples, they returned to Lystra, Iconium, and Antioch, strengthening the souls of the disciples, exhorting them to continue in the faith, and saying, “We must through many tribulations enter the kingdom of God.”  

Acts 14:21-22

How does one go about sharing bad news? Is it better to blurt it out or to soften it with poetic words? I'm not sure because bad news cannot be softened really. It's impact on the heart and mind remains the same. So it is with straightforwardness that I share my recent health crisis.

I shared here last week that I have cancer. It's such an ugly word full of fearful connotations and the unknown. When you find out that your cancer is aggressive, those fears ramp up and suddenly life feels very different.

I went to my oncologist surgeon on Monday and was told some hard truths that, frankly, my mind and heart really haven't processed fully yet. I have uterine cancer that is a grade 3. This means it's aggressive and there is a fear of it spreading to vital organs. So here is the process of what will happen next in my life.

They will order a stat CT scan so that we can find out if the cancer has spread to my organs and/or lungs. If it hasn't, I will have surgery on October 9th. If it has, I will have to have chemo therapy to fight the cancer before proceeding with surgery.  The surgery will include a hysterectomy and also removing the lymph nodes that are around the blood vessels of that area. The lymph nodes in the stomach curtain will also be removed.  Everything will be sent to the pathologist to determine if he lymph nodes have cancer.  If they don't, I won't have to do more other than to be monitored every three months.  If they do, I will have to have chemo and radiation.

Oh friends...can I tell you that I am tired and overwhelmed by facing yet another health issue? My mind and body feel like they just can't go forward, yet I must. I know this is a feeling I'm having because I'm in shock right now, but that I will, through God's grace and strength, face this new crisis and fight it with everything I have in me.

However, I need you! I need your prayers and your good thoughts. Sometimes a person needs to know that they are not alone in their fight and this is such a time for me. So, if you would please pray for me, I would so appreciate it! These are my prayer requests:

1. That the cancer has not spread and that we can go forward with the surgery on October 9th. 
2. That the cancer has not spread to the lymph nodes that will be removed during surgery. That it has been contained in the uterus and has gone no further.  

I know that God is more than able to make these things happen. I have seen Him work in my life over and over again in ways that are miraculous and powerful. I pray that it is His will to do so again. 

There is more that I can say, and I will in future posts, but right now I really needed to share the hard facts and ask for your prayers. My heart and mind need all the encouragement I can get! I know that I am no one special and that the troubles of this world fall on the just and unjust (Matthew 5:45) but I also know that I serve and believe in the true God that has comfort and mercy for the afflicted. 

Sing, O heavens!

Be joyful, O earth!

And break out in singing, O mountains!

For the Lord has comforted His people,

And will have mercy on His afflicted.

Isaiah 49:13

Thank you for allowing me to share this with you and thank you for standing with me in prayer. 

Blessings - Julie 

He Has Mercy For Us!

I am so thankful for God's mercies! Doesn't it seem like when one difficult thing comes up, then more and more follow? I know I'm feeling overwhelmed by so many things right now but I try to remember that God has mercy on me. It's not always easy to remember that when the cares and worries of my world try to overtake me.

That's why it's so important to be in the Word of God each and every day. He meets us through our Bible and through prayer in a way that nothing else does. It seems like my brain doesn't always immediately go to the assurances of God but to the worries. I'm not sure why that is, but it is true of me. I can feel alone, sad, pressed under the weight of troubles but the minute I open my Bible and start reading, these things lift. I feel relief because I know I don't have to figure it all out on my own - I have Jesus who loves me with an unending love! He will provide wisdom and guidance - all I have to do is ask.

He has mercy on me when I get weighed down by troubles and will lift them each and every time when I turn to Him. Oh, how sweet our Lord is!

If you feel overwhelmed by things, turn to God. Get your Bible open and soak in His love and promises. I can guarantee that you will feel His love, comfort and mercy!

You are loved!

Blessings - Julie

Sleep and Prayer

Lying awake over concerns is so hard. You want to sleep - you long to sleep - but your mind and heart are churning and thoughts tumble over one another until you think you'll go quite mad. Sleep would be a beautiful escape, but the turmoil keeps your emotions on high alert.

I don't know why we do this to ourselves. I don't know why we think by losing sleep that we'll solve the problems that are plaguing us. The next day is made worse because we are so exhausted our brains and bodies won't work. It's a wasted night and a wasted day.

Prayer is the only thing that helps in these situations. Giving it over to God and asking Him to take control is the only rest our hearts and minds will get. We can do nothing to quiet our own hearts - only trusting God can do that. Maybe the situation you're concerned about is health related or a family relationship is shattered. Perhaps we are berating ourselves over something we said or did that we wish we hadn't. Can you relate? I certainly can to all these things.

It's not easy giving it over to God. I'll be the first to admit I mull things over and over. Fret and worry. Trying to figure a way of fixing the issue or being afraid and what may happen. Why is prayer never the first thing I do? Why is it always the last; after I'm so exhausted the words to God are barely coherent?

Thankfully, we have a Savior who cares and does not turn away even when I talk to Him last. He knows my human frailties and He doesn't hold them against me. He is there, in the dead of night, just waiting to listen and to comfort my heart. It is only then that my mind rests and the sleep comes and it is sweet, comforting rest. Thank you, Lord!

Blessings - Julie

Sunday Thoughts

 This is the day the Lord hath made...

The Lord, our Creator and Savior. When I think about all the Lord has done for me, how He has loved me when I'm most unlovable, my heart just can't take it. I know what a sinner I am and I know I am so very unworthy of His love, yet He loves me. Not only that, He blesses me and wants what is best for me. I always, always feel so unworthy. Let's face it - I am unworthy!

I still struggle with so much - especially unforgiveness to those who have hurt me. That is my biggest struggle. I get my feelings hurt so badly when someone rejects me that I thought wouldn't and I have a horrible time getting past it. I think about it and meditate on it when I should be meditating on the Word of God!

The Bible has everything to help us in our struggles. It has encouragement and admonishment and a step-by-step instruction manual for living. Why is it that it's so hard to open this book when we're hurting? Why is it so hard not to reflect on the hurts from others? The quiet phone or empty inbox of our emails can devastate us. The rumors that people start behind our back and we find out it was our best friend who started them. The people in church who ignore us because they already have their little circle of friends and there's no room for one more. All of this can break our hearts and it can start to define us and harden us. I know.

I can only encourage us to pray and ask God to help us to not hurt so much but to forgive over-much. It's also a really great idea to journal our feelings. Getting it out on paper can really help us to work things out in our hearts and minds. Putting our blessings on paper really helps, too, and that's why I keep a blessings journal where I list my blessings. Putting the positive stuff into our mind and getting rid of our sadness and unforgiveness is a great step for moving forward.

This all sounds so easy, doesn't it? It's not. It's much easier to wallow in our hurts and remind ourselves of how we've been hurt. We can wallow around so much in this sadness that we become rather stinky! We're hard to be around and then the problem perpetuates. We push people away because we don't want to be hurt again.

We need to ask God for help.

Dear Lord,

I pray for those who are hurting today. Especially those who have been hurt by others in the church, our friends and family.  We always expect so much from those closest to us, yet they are human, just like us. I pray that we would be able to lie our unforgiveness aside and give those who have hurt us total and absolute forgiveness. I pray, Lord, that you would comfort our hearts and bathe them in the peace and love that only You can provide.

I pray that we would know how truly loved we are by You. I pray that we would know how special we truly are and that the opinions and pain from others does not have to define us. You define us, Lord, and I pray that we would hold that close to our hearts and minds until we know it as sure as we know our name. 

Thank you for caring for us so much, Lord. I thank you for all your blessings. I pray this through your Son, Jesus...Amen.

I hope, as you spend this day with the Lord, that you will realize how truly loved you are and how there is a plan and a reason for all that we go through. We may not understand it but we must trust God and know that because He is God, He knows what we're going through and He understands it. Sometimes knowing that God understands is enough. Knowing that, in the end, things will work out and we will be redeemed is enough. Hold on to that, dear friends. I intend to.

Blessings - Julie

Counting Our Blessings - Link Up

I'm feeling better and am so thankful for the many prayers and comments you left me! It's such an encouragement!  I saw my doctor last week and he is putting me on another round of antibiotics just to make sure it's all taken care of as I was still having pain when he saw me.

I've been resting as needed and my first blessing is...

9.  Naps! I'm so thankful that I can take a nap when I need one. I was feeling guilty for these naps but I don't do that to myself anymore. I listen to my body and I am gentle with myself when I need to be. Having a nap is a huge blessing!

10.  I am doing this wonderful Bible study called "Learning To Love" that Darlene Schacht of the Time Warp Wife has put together for February. It's so wonderful! You can check it out HERE on her blog. She also has a prayer journal that you can buy (totally optional) that goes along with it. Here's the first two pages of the prayer journal that I did

This is the companion book called, "Quieting Your Heart - 30 Day Prayer Journey". You can find this on Amazon and the following is a link to it. I've had so much fun coloring in the pictures and sharing my heart with God through prayer.


11.  I've also been working on my Documented Faith Journal. I haven't done as much as I would like because I haven't felt well enough, but I did add some things to it. I wanted to share them with you

I would like to do a lot more in this book, but I'm doing what I can and putting in the things that really mean a lot to me. :)

12.  Finally, I have been working steadily on my cross stitch. I am enjoying this project so much! I love all the shades of color.

I'm hoping to finish the bear this week! So many thread changes are involved and that's what takes the time. Plus, making sure I count right! lol

What are your blessings this week? Blessings come in all shapes and sizes - the point is to look for them!

Remember, I have a new button, if you'd like to share it. It's on the "Grab My Buttons" page. I hope that you'll share something from your blog that will inspire others or just make them smile!

An InLinkz Link-up

Blessings - Julie

31 Days of Hope - October 15

I'm having some really tired days! Last night I was up all night until 5 am, so is it any wonder? Part of it's age, part of it is pain. The only good thing was that my hubby was up, too, and we sat and had a midnight snack and watched old game shows together. We can always make the best of a bad situation.

When we're tired, though, it can cause our HOPE to get foggy, too. It's easy to see the gloomy side of things when we're tired and it's a time that satan will double his attacks. I have to really be in prayer during these tired days - short, heart-felt prayers help a lot. When you're tired, you don't always have the energy to pray long prayers. God hears our little prayers, too!

   Rejoice in hope; be patient in affliction; be persistent in prayer.

Romans 12:12

I love this Scripture. It puts in a nutshell exactly what we need to do when we are afflicted. Whether inflicted in pain, a situation in our lives that we find it hard to deal with, or insomnia, or something else, God tells us to be patient. Then he tells us to rejoice in our HOPE! When we have HOPE we can rejoice, right? Finally, and most important, we must be persistent in prayer. 

I love how God gives us exactly what we need to do in His Word. God is so good and loving! I'm so thankful that my HOPE is in Him alone!

Blessings - Julie

Update and My Prayer Box

It's been a while since I've posted an update! Time certainly does go by fast. It amazes me that it's almost the end of January in a new year.

I went to the doctor two weeks ago today and had my incisions checked and my leg. It was looking so good that he removed the stitches and released me from home care! I was so shocked that it still hasn't really sunk in. I have been on home care since June which  meant I couldn't go anywhere but the doctor's office and out to eat after the doctor appointments, but that was it. That's seven long months of being restricted! I'm a home-body, but it takes on a different connotation when you are forced to stay at home. I had to have my family shop for shampoo, make-up, and other such things. They did amazingly well, but it's not the same as choosing your own things. I'm also allowed to drive again which is so wonderful as I love to drive and have missed it horribly! Like I said, I'm still trying to process that I'm able to do all these things! :)

I have been going a bit overboard on getting out, I'm afraid, and I've worn myself out! Even though I have to be pushed in a wheel chair or ride the scooter at the store, I'm so weak that I find I get tired really quickly. My leg doesn't support me for very long and I get in pain almost immediately but I'm so glad to have the freedom to go out if I want! My husband and sons have been very sweet about pushing me in my wheelchair, for which I'm thankful. I can't push it myself because of my back problems and my weakness so how wonderful to have such a sweet, understanding family!

One thing I've done for the new year is to set up a new prayer box. I did have a composition notebook I had been keeping my prayer requests in, but that just never worked really well for me. I saw this system online over at Life Verse Books and really liked it! I got a really pretty index card box that locks (I don't think I'll probably use the lock, but if I had small children I might, especially if there were sensitive requests in my box I didn't want them to see). Here's my box

I used my label maker to make the labels on my index tabs. I also have white index cards and colored index cards. I'm just using the white ones now, but I'm sure I'll use the colored ones for special prayer requests or urgent requests.

Here's the different index cards

 

I'm really liking this way of keeping track of my prayer requests. It's so easy to pull out the cards during my prayer time and pray over the requests. I think this is going to work really well for me. 

Here's the box I bought off of Amazon, in case you're interested.

I hope you're all doing good. I'm so thankful for your prayers, your comments and your emails! They mean so much to me!

Blessings - Julie

Praising God for All He Does!

Wow! What a week so far! My oldest son's birthday was this past weekend. I made him a chocolate cake but then did something stupid. I decided to deviate from my own "recipe" which is actually nothing more than a pinch of this and a pinch of that, and I followed a recipe I found online. Huge mistake! The frosting was more like mortar that you'd put between bricks and there was no fixing it! Believe me, I tried. So...I had my youngest son go out and get another cake mix, and I'm going to do it again in a few days. This time, I will stick with what I know and it will be amazing because, (and I say this with as much modesty as possible), my frosting is always amazing. I will never do this again...I will stick with a tried and true method. We had BLT's at my son's request and they were very yummy. We had kind of a quiet day, but it was a really nice day. Needless to say, after all this, I was totally exhausted and had to recover for a couple days. Totally worth it, though. I'm so thankful I get to celebrate my son's birthday with him another year!

Now on to this little girl...

She is doing SO great! She acts like she never had any kind of surgery. She was pretty groggy for a couple of days, but after that, she started acting like her old self and I've seen such a change in her. I think she wasn't feeling good for awhile but it wasn't enough for us to understand that she was sick. Now I'm seeing her old self. She had been getting to the point where she didn't want to sleep with me before, but now, she sleeps with me all night just like she used to. I'm so thrilled she's feeling so good. I haven't gotten the pathology report yet so I don't know about the cancer, but I'm praying and choosing to believe she will be fine. I just love this girl....I know, I've said that. :)

I had my second physical therapy session today. It was a good session and I felt like I really made some progress. My knee ended up at 90 degrees, which is great for me. My leg is still very swollen and I'm fighting against that - plus the bypass. I really like my therapist and he is always very careful about the bypass and get inspires me to really push myself as far as I can. I'm so thankful for him as I know he is the perfect therapist for me. My hubby really likes him, too, for all those same reasons. It's been a concern to him that we would get a therapist that wouldn't be concerned about the bypass. It's all worked out beautifully.

We had two answers to prayer today. These were prayers that we had not spoken to others of but we were praying about as a family. God is so amazing and so good - He decided to bless us with "Yes" today! One prayer was concerning me and one prayer was concerning one of my sons. I am in awe and in wonder at how the Lord loves us so much that He would just bless us this way. These answers have lifted weights off our shoulders and given us clear-cut direction, too. I'm just praising the Lord for all He does and all He will continue to do in our lives!!!

God bless you - Julie

What He Calls Me To, He Will Lead Me Through

I am so happy for the cool, crisp days we have been having! It's almost cold sleeping at night with the windows open and I love it! Autumn is my favorite time of year and it just rejuvenates me! 

I'm so thankful for this weather because I've been home with my painful foot and this weather just calms me and helps me to think of the upcoming holidays. I do love the holidays and the family time. I love planning for the holidays and making presents and things to decorate my home. 

I've been working on this project for my oldest son

It's his Christmas stocking! It's going to have Santa in a Fireman's uniform and don't you love the doggie? I also love the holly leaves and berries on the top, too. I love doing felt kits and this one has been especially fun.

I did have a pity party on Wednesday. Lots of tears and feeling sorry for myself - asking God why I have been going through all this pain for so long. Why at my relatively young age of 51, I'm like a little, old lady. This lasted until bedtime when I finally did what I should have done in the first place. Prayed. I praised God for all my blessings, I thanked Him that I can still do so many things, I thanked Him for my family and on and on. Amazing how that changed my attitude. I also thought about why God would be allowing this in my life. I know that He has a purpose in all things and I know that He will get our attention and bring us back into His will when we are out of it. I've had some revelations, and now, I need to be obedient. 

Pain is a cruel taskmaster but I know, with God's help, that I can still do things that will glorify Him. What He calls me to, He will lead me through. 

Blessings - Julie

Sunday Thoughts

Peaceful Sunday. A day of rest - a day of focusing on the One who created you and me. I'm so thankful for Sunday's. They help me to slow down and focus on the Lord. I also have quiet time, time to think and contemplate about the past week and the up-coming week. How did I spend my time? I always feel as though I haven't spent enough time with the Lord and Sunday gives me time to do just that. I'm especially feeling that way right now because I haven't been able to attend church for a few weeks. My pain levels and my health issues have kept me from going and I miss it. I miss my church family and sitting with them in worship and learning. I'm looking forward to getting back, but until then, I want to make sure I'm focused on the Lord and not getting lazy about my time with Him! Not that I don't do that when I go to church, but there's something about going and being with other believers that keeps you more focused. That's how it is for me anyway, so I have to be intentional about it.

I am almost done with my family room and, dear friends, I'm so happy with it! It is coming together so beautifully and I'm just thrilled. I will have the big reveal next week so be watching! Next, my living room with get a make-over of sorts and I will share that with you, too. This has been a lot of work, but it's been worth it. I love that I have purged and organized and made my house more of a home! 

So many of you are hurting right now and I want you to know that I am praying for you! You all mean so much to me and I'm so thankful for each of my readers and friends that I've met through my blog. I'm so thankful for your prayers, as well. It has blessed me beyond measure to know that I am prayed for! 

Have a wonderful Sunday! Make it a day of rest, a day of focusing on the Lord and spending special time with your family.

God bless you - Julie

Looking Forward With New Plans

It's been a quiet week here on the homestead. Part of the reason for this is because I'm still dealing with fatigue. However, I have great news in this direction. My wonderful doctor referred me to have a sleep study done because she heard my symptoms and thinks something is going on in that direction. Once she explained it, I'm thinking she's right! I'm hoping so, anyway, because when I'm tired, I'm very unproductive! 

I know I shared about our trip to Williams on Monday. I forgot to take many pictures (I really hate when I do that!) but I did get an individual picture of everyone sitting at the table at the restaurant. My hubby....

My oldest son...

My youngest son...

There is a picture of me my son took, but I'm afraid I don't approve of that picture, so it will not be shown here! LOL  Next time I take a trip (a rare occurrence, for sure!), I will make sure I take more pictures! 

I have mostly read this week (look for upcoming book reviews) and I did finish the stitching of the scissor holder I showed you last week. Now I just need to put it all together and then I will show it in all it's glory. :) I really love it now that I'm done. I just have to stitch the two bobs that go along with it and I'll have a wonderful new project to hold little items like needles, scissors and such. 

We've been blessed with some cooling rain over the last two days. The fire that took those firemen, is now 100% contained. Many homes were lost, but there was no greater loss that those lives. I am happy that the fire is out, however. It was such a horrible fire and so many people have no home to go back to. Such devastation in so many ways. 

I have been praying about what direction the Lord wants me to go. I'm definitely hearing from Him and I'm seeing that He is moving me into a new direction. It's rather exciting, actually, even though it's hard to let go of the old things. My feeling is that God knows best. He sees the future and He definitely knows what I should be doing and where I should be. Relying on my own "wisdom" is never good. I am in His hands and have such a desire to be obedient to His callings on my life!

We plan to have a quiet weekend. My oldest son will work a 24 hour shift tomorrow but will be home on Sunday. We are in the process of planning to move things around in our home but we will have to wait to move the big things until he's home for a few days. I'm excited about our plans but also dreading the hard work of moving furniture and other items around. No, I don't move furniture anymore, but even doing the other things is hard. It will be worth it in the end though!

Many blessings ~ Julie

Getting Hit In The Heart - Part 2

 Last time I shared about how we can be hurt by others and the pain they can cause our heart.

So how do we get out of this pit of despair? I'm going to share how I do it and what has worked for me.

1.  Refuse to live in the past & forgive.
I used to love to live in the past. I would gather my hurts around me and nurse them and stroke them and keep them alive and kicking. What opened my eyes to realizing what I was doing to myself (and those around me who are always affected by us doing this) was this Scripture:

Do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. Ephesians 4:26-27

I can still remember when I heard our pastor speaking on this subject at church and when he read this Scripture. He said, "Forgive and let go of all bitterness so satan no longer has a foothold in my life and family!" It was like God was just speaking directly to me because I was sitting there in that chair, in bitterness, nursing my hurts and I had been affecting those around me - most noteably, my husband. I was shocked and ashamed of myself because I was becoming exactly what I didn't want to be. I have been careful about that "root of bitterness" ever since that comes from not leaving the past in the past.

2.  When you feel like having a good sulk, go ahead, but limit the time that you sulk. I think it's important to feel what you feel and not pretend that nothing bothers you. I did that for a long time and found that it made me sick and depressed for long periods of time. It's better to just admit that you feel the way you feel and move on.

3.  Write it down; Keep a journal!! This should probably be number one, it's that important. There really is nothing more healing than writing in a journal. Writing down your feelings and sorting them out will save your emotions, your thinking, and your relationships. It's amazing how once you get everything written down, it takes the power away from it. It will clear up how you're feeling and help you to get rid of the poison from others.


4.  Stop looking backward. The Bible says "one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead. Philippians 3:13b

I picture a racer in the Olympics. She's running forward, toward the finish line. Suddenly, she decides to start looking behind her for an extended period of time. What's going to happen? Will she keep going forward in a straight line? Will she stumble and fall? Probably. You can't focus on your future and keep your eyes on what the Lord has for you if you're constantly looking backward. 

5. Don't hesitate to distance yourself from people who continually put your life in turmoil. If there is someone who is creating havoc in your life or creating turmoil in your marriage or family, you need to protect yourself and your family. If it's a family member (sibling, parent, etc.) then figure out if you can write to this person instead of talking to them in person or on the phone. If it's not even possible to have written communication, you  may need to make the choice to love them from afar. You can pray for them and ask for God to intervene in their heart, but you don't have to be right in the middle of their poison with them. You should have grace for everyone, but if it continues year after year, then you need to make a decision to protect yourself and your family.  

6.  Pray for yourself to be able to lay your hurts at the throne and leave them there. Pray for those who hurt you. 

7.  Focus on your future and what you know the Lord is calling you to do. Don't allow others to define who you are! Let God show you who you are and what He wants you to do. Remember you are a child of God and that He made you who you are. He formed you and He loves you exactly as you are. 

It's very difficult to have a painful childhood and those who want to continually hurt you. Unfortunately, when we grow up with these issues, we tend to gravitate to people that are like those that hurt us. We can be more discerning with the Lord's help. We can heal and go forward in our life with God at our side. 

"Jesus looked at them and said, '"With man it is impossible, but not with God. For all things are possible with God.'" - Mark 10:27

*Please note that I am not a trained or licensed counselor and am only sharing what has helped me. :)


God bless you - Julie

Walking By Faith

It's not always easy to walk by Faith. We are a visual people and we like to know what's going to happen. We want answers now rather than later. However,the Lord plans EVERYTHING together for good. Even in those dark times, when we can't see how what we're going through could possibly be for good, the Lord uses it to bring us closer to Him.

I think over the past years and the pain I've been in. How could my pain possibly be good? How could my suffering possibly be good for anyone? We don't know. I don't know. I don't have all the answers as to the "why" of my pain. The "why" of our financial struggles. The "why" of my husband's cancer. The "why" of his health issues. The "why" of my son's pain. The "why" of everything bad that happens to us and our loved ones.

I don't have all the answers - only God does. The hard part, yet the easy part, is to just trust in Him and know that He is with us. My most peaceful times are those times when I am in the Word of God, hiding his letters of love in my heart, and praying to him about everything. My most stressful days are those where I don't do this, but try to handle it all on my own.

I'm spending this week after Christmas and before the new year to consider my goals for the upcoming year. I'm spending it in prayer and asking God to give me wisdom about what I should do and what I shouldn't do. I'm asking for the energy I need and for clear direction. I have a lot of ideas but I want to make sure that my ideas are from the Lord and not from myself. I'm also discussing everything with my husband. I want to make sure I have his wisdom and insight about things, too. He always has my best interest at heart and he will help me put the brakes on things when I try to take on too much.

My main goal for the upcoming year is to truly walk in faith - to walk with the Lord - to make him the absolute center of everything I do and say. To walk in faith brings peace and comfort and that's something I definitely want.

God bless you - Julie

Sunday Before Christmas

Christmas is two days away! My goodness...this season just seems to have flown by. As you know, I've had my tree up since the end of October and I'm still enjoying it. I probably will leave it up for at least another week to two weeks after Christmas. I love sitting and looking at the tree at night with all the lights off in the room and only the Christmas tree lights illuminating our living room. There is something so peaceful about it. The Christmas tree makes me stop and just sit and ponder. I think of all my blessings - how far I've come in this life - and I quietly in my heart wonder what the Lord has for me in this next year.

I'm optimistic. Maybe I shouldn't be, but I am. I try not to think about the pain filled years. I try not to anticipate them happening again, and I have faith in the Lord that He has a plan for my life. Jeremiah 29:11 is a Scripture that I hold tight to when I have those little niggling thoughts in the back of my mind that wants to think doomy and gloomy thoughts.

I think about my two sons and how much they have grown as men and as followers of Jesus in this past year. I'm thankful beyond measure that they believe in the Lord and that they are walking with Him. I also see how much they have grown in their daily lives. How far they have come in school and how hard they work. They have never stopped being a blessing to my hubby and me. I know these years of having them under our roof are limited and I enjoy each and every day that they are still home. This time will pass so quickly and they will be out on their own, with their own lives and family. How precious this time is right now.

I think about what my goals are for this year. I wonder what direction I should take with my writing, with my blog, with my art. I ponder these things in my heart. I reflect on them. I pray about where the Lord wants me to go next in all these things. I know on my own I won't do anything. It is only through the strength of the Lord that I will be able to move forward and be obedient to His callings.

I pray that I will be completely obedient, that I will have the strength I need to do what I will have to do, or to endure what I'll have to endure. We are never sure what our future holds, but I feel peaceful because my future has Jesus in it and, with Him, I can be confident and at peace.

God bless you - Julie

The Sorrow of an Evil Act

My heart is so filled with sadness because of the evil that was done this morning in Connecticut. I cannot even imagine the sorrow and horror that these families are facing. My eyes are filled with tears as I type this and think about all this.

This is a horrible, evil act. The darkness of someone doing such a despicable act just confirms in my mind the truth of Ephesians 6:12, "For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places." Something dark and evil was put into this man's heart and he acted on it.

Please be in prayer with me for the families of these children and teachers. Please pray for those who are mourning and devastated by their loss. Pray for those children who saw the horror and were terrorized by this evil act. Pray for the Lord's comfort and love to be felt in these families lives.

Dear Lord,

I come before your throne and ask for comfort for these families who lost their children this morning. I pray that you would be with them, cover them with your feathers and give them refuge. I pray that they would turn to you and know that You are with them. I ask that you would also comfort those who witnessed these horrific acts and that you would give them the peace only You can give. I pray for those who were injured - that your healing touch would be on them. Oh, Lord, my heart is so hurting for these families who are grieving. Please make yourself truly known to them and give them refuge and comfort. I pray this through your son's Jesus name - Amen.

God bless you - Julie