But God - The Two Most Comforting Words

"I took you from the ends of the earth, from its farthest corners I called you. I said, 'You are my servant'; I have chosen you and have not rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." - Isaiah 41:9-10

I wrote the following on my blog in 2014. It was right after a surgery and I was coping with the results and my recovery...

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God's promises are so precious. When we're struggling through something like recovering from surgery, or the loss of a loved one, or wondering how we're going to pay our latest bill, God's promises are there to see us through. We know that we can rely on Him to remember His promises. He tells us He remembers us.

In this Scripture, He promises to strengthen and help us. I don't know about you, but I need that, especially right now. I have no strength of my own right now...I'm just beyond tired and exhausted. I'm so thankful that I can turn to God and ask Him for comfort to know that He is my help.

It's so amazing to me that God says He will uphold me with His righteous right hand. How can I be of so much importance to him that He would lift me up? How is it that He loves me so much? It's just overwhelming and my heart just over-flows with the amazement and awesomeness of it all.

God loves you with the same kind of love! Are you going through something difficult? Rest in Him. Remember, He is holding you in His hand. Nothing that is happening or has happened, has not gone through His hands first. He will bless us through these difficult times and we will come through more able to serve Him and help others! Oh - how I thank Him for this!

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September 11th is such a difficult day. It brings so many memories of loss and sadness and, for me, it will be a date I remember for a different reason. I received a phone call that has turned my world upside down. My doctor called to let me know that my biopsy showed I have cancer. I was, and am still, in shock.

It's at times like this when the shifting sands of life either settle on the bed rock of faith in Jesus or swallow one in the quick sands of fear. My heart and mind have been gasping for air as the fear threatens to swallow me up, however, there are those glimpses of sure footing as I remember the promises of God.

I will be seeing the oncologist next week and I also will be having a CT scan to determine if the cancer has spread. That's one of those swirling sands, one of those fearful things that satan uses against me during the dark hours of night. "But God." The most promising and two words in the Bible. There may be fearful things to face but God never leaves me and He is bigger than satan and this horrible cancer.

I would so appreciate your prayers - for God's will first of all. Of course, for healing through whatever means God chooses, and for strength, wisdom and comfort for me and my family's hearts.

I will update here as much as possible, however, if you want to follow me on MeWe, I will update there as I go through this new journey. I will not update on Facebook as I feel uncomfortable sharing this very personal situation on there. The link to my personal MeWe page is HERE and the link to my MeWe blog page is HERE 

The Scripture and my blog post from those many years ago, comfort me yet again. It speaks to my heart and reminds me that He is still holding me in His righteous right hand. May God be glorified through this situation!

Blessings - Julie

God is Faithful and Merciful - A Linkup

God is truly faithful. He is there when things seem so out of control and you know all you can do is rely on Him to see you through safely to the end. I know this because He has been there for me, faithfully, time after time. No situation is too big for Him and, even if things don't go exactly as we would like, He is faithful to bring peace and comfort into our lives.

In May, I had another emergency surgery. I was totally taken off guard because it was the same situation I had found myself in the year before. I had another blockage of my intestine only this time,, it was twisted and I didn't have any idea that there was even a problem. That day had started joyous with family over to celebrate Mother's Day and after everyone went home, I started feeling sick. I knew if felt exactly like the problem I had a year before but I couldn't comprehend that it would be the same thing. Finally, the pain got so bad, I told my husband I was going to have to go to the emergency room. Oh how I dread those words. They did a CT scan and, sure enough, there was a big problem that was going to have to be dealt with.

However, God is faithful and my surgeon, that I had the year before, was available and came to see me. He did the surgery and, while he informed me that I'm put together with stitches, staples, rivets, and more, he did a great job and I'm so thankful. It's been a difficult recovery in some ways - mainly the pain from cutting through the muscles and nerves - yet it's been easy in that I feel much better in so many other ways.

The Lord is merciful. While this Scripture from James refers to Job and all he went through I think a lot of us can relate to the hardships that Job went through. He had one thing after another happen and he must have wondered what was going on. I've had days like that since my surgery. Just before my surgery, I had a back injection and it had given me a lot of relief, however, when you have surgery, you are moved around in ways that you would not move yourself if you were fully awake. I woke up from surgery with horrible back pain and have been dealing with it since. I have had another injection but had a medical test and they had me lie on the table in a way I would never do normally and, again, it has undone the relief that I had. Still, I know the Lord is merciful.

I am able to rest when I need to, use the heating pad and know that there is a plan in all of this. God is full of compassion for my pain and I know I will not have to endure more than I'm able. I also know that because he is both faithful and merciful, He will provide a way to get relief again. He always does. I can look back at all He has done and stand on that knowledge. It brings great peace to know that He hasn't left me nor will He.

Is it difficult? Do I have times where I feel so down, I wonder if I can crawl back out of the dark hole I feel I'm stuck in? Absolutely! However, they don't last because God gives me people around me to encourage me and He gives me His Word that comforts me.

No matter what you are going through, remember that God is faithful and merciful. He will hold you through it all and bring you through to the other side. It may be a long journey or a short journey, but He will be there.

Blessings - Julie

You can find out more about the Scripture I share on the Bible Gateway website. They have the Bible in multiple translations plus a lot of other study information. You can go HERE to check it out.

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Would you like to share something from your blog? I'd love to have you link up below! I will leave this open for a week so share away!

The Game of Life

Life can throw us some real crazy fast balls. Just when you think you've figured out the pitch, one comes at you low and fast and brings you to your knees. What's a girl to do when this happens? I've found the best thing is to reach up my hand and let the Lord lift me up and carry me to the bench so I can recover.

I'm in recovery mode right now. Not only from the aftermath of my knockout of 2014, but from the things of life that just keep punching me. Last month found my husband once again at the vascular clinic because he had another blockage in his leg. This one was more frightening than the other because his foot was looking strange and there was a definite coolness to the temperature of his leg. Thankfully, the doctor was able to get him in quickly and get the blockage removed. This is the same doctor that put the eighteen inch bypass in my leg. Can I just say again that God uses this man in amazing and mighty ways?  I'm so thankful that God directs our footsteps and puts us in the pathway of the right people at the right time.

I'm still trying to recover and have some fairly good days and some not so good days. I'm still really tired and it's probably because I don't sleep well. It's amazing how a lack of sleep can affect our energy and outlook. I'm allowing myself to rest on that bench that God has placed me on. I literally am benched right now. I'm not out there hitting the high fast ones. I'm actually doing my bit for the team, so to speak, behind the scenes and from my computer when I can. I am so, so thankful that I can serve God from an online capacity.

Whether you're in the middle of the game or sitting things out on the bench, God has a plan for your life! It's not always easy to see that when you're on the sidelines watching others go about the game of life, but it doesn't mean we are any less valuable! Rest when you need to rest and get out there when and if you can. All we can do it be faithful in the ways we can be. Just realize that God may use you in a different way then you imagined and that's okay. You are loved and cared for right where you are - just as you are.

Blessings - Julie

Preparing To Move Mountains

Are you in a situation where you wonder if God can use you? Do you feel so tired - sleep so much - that you question where you really can be used in God's kingdom? I do. My body is still recovering and I am still in many situations that affect my day to day life. I don't have the energy I used to have or the stamina. I have to take a nap most days and, believe me, this doesn't make me feel like I'm doing much for my family and myself, let alone God. But guess what? This is not our truth! Everything is exactly how God had it planned and He is preparing us for great things.

The rest I find myself craving right now is healing my body and mind. It's allowing me to spend time listening to teachings and reading/listening to God's Word. I have never been able to listen or study the Bible this intensely before. I never had time! I was busy raising and schooling my children or busy working or volunteering at my church. I studied as much as I could but never could devote as much time as I would have liked. It was a real desire for me to be able to do this. I can do it now - it's just not the way I had envisioned it! lol God knows me, though. I don't know that I would have slowed down enough to really study the Word the way I do now. I do it because I want to, of course, but also because my body won't allow me to do much more of anything that is strenuous.

I get frustrated some days because I can't even do my studies. My mind won't comprehend what I'm reading or I'm even too tired to pick up the pen for my study. That's where the audio teachings I listen to are so invaluable. I have one of these speakers...

it's a Klipsch portable bluetooth speaker that I hook up to my iPhone and listen to Christian teachings and/or music. It's a powerful little thing that makes listening so much easier and nicer. I have several Apps that are my favorite and I will be doing a post about these Apps very soon. I listen during the day and, when I can't sleep, I turn on a teaching and it helps me to focus on God and not my pain or the fact that I can't sleep. This is such a wonderful thing about todays technology!

So, I am trying to relax, allow myself this time to sleep. I am focusing on the positive things - the progress I've seen in myself - because I know that God is using all this. The things I've been through and all the things I'm learning now are going to help me to move mountains for the kingdom of God. It's the same for you, dear friend. Remember what the Lord tells us in 2 Corinthians 1:4 -

"He comforts us in all our affliction, 

so that we may be able to comfort those 

who are in any kind of affliction, 

through the comfort we ourselves receive from God."

Be patient and gentle with yourself, my friend, and know that we will be moving those mountains in God's good timing!!

The Long, Winding Road

Time teaches us so much. I look back over the last year and a half and I see the winding road that the Lord took me on and I see how much He taught me. So many hard times where I couldn't even imagine the end coming out well. Caught in the middle of my...for lack of a better word...ordeal, I looked to just get through the day and nothing else. It was too hard to hope for a happy ending. Just an end, that's all. I knew if I didn't live through it, that I would be with Jesus and that was fine with me. If I did live through it, would I live any kind of normal life? I had no idea and my mind couldn't go there.

Now it's been eight months since my last surgery and my wounds are closed and I haven't had another infection. Do I still react if I feel sick? Oh, yes. It will take even more time before I can feel comfortable in my skin again. I'm not the me that I started this whole thing out with. I'm different. Some of it is better different and some of it is worse.

The worst parts are not really trusting people any more. I had problems with care givers and I got forgotten by those I thought would not forget me. I hurt a long time over the latter part. It's funny how you think you know what people will do when a tragedy strikes, but you don't really know. You just hope. Unfortunately, my hopes were dashed. Was part of it my fault? Possibly, but I'm not sure in what way. I've thought and thought and can't figure out how I would have pushed anyone away. If I did, it was unintentional and certainly not what I wanted to do. I think tragedy and the ordeals that some of us go through are just too much for the average person. Even those in leadership at our churches are not really equipped mentally for the long haul that some of us go through. They want to put out the initial fire and then move on. If there's still embers burning, well, you'll just have to deal with those yourself. I'm not here to bash the church or my brothers and sisters in Christ. I'm just sharing my own unique experiences and my own feelings about it. I may never fully understand but I hope that I can grow and learn from my situation and maybe help those of you who are going through an ordeal to know that you are not alone.

I'm still dealing with the after affects of what was done to me in the operating room and all the problems stemming from that. I live with daily pain and a leg that is worse now than when I went in for the surgery. However, I try to take each day one at a time and focus on what God would have me do each day. I am very thankful for you, dear readers, as you've gone through this whole thing with me. You've read my posts on the good days and on the bad days and you've not thought worse of me for those bad days. I am so thankful for the prayers and the good thoughts! I hope you all know how dear you are to me and how much you mean to me!

Many blessings - Julie

Praising God Even When You Don't Feel Like It

Let's be honest. Sometimes, it's easier to praise the Lord than at other times. Personally, I love  and trust Jesus so much, I don't often have those times. However, I DO have times where I am questioning God as to why things are happening the way they are. I'm having a bit of that right now as I have a new issue with my leg. The incisions are infected...especially the one for the bypass. The bypass that should have never been. 

I went to my surgeon on Friday because I could tell it was getting really yucky and my leg was hot. He looked at it, put me on Bactrim, and gave me some cream to put on it. He acts like he just doesn't know what to do. He hems and haws around and, frankly, I have no confidence in him. Then his nurse had the audacity to say that the bypass incision was not something he had done. Seriously? If not for his neglect, I wouldn't have had to have a bypass! I also questioned to myself why he thought Bactrim was the drug to choose for this. It's a fine antibiotic but it's not exactly a strong one and it barely cures my bladder infections when I rarely get them. I usually have to do two rounds of it because it's not a strong drug.

Anyway, over the weekend, I could tell I wasn't getting any better so this morning, I went to my regular doctors office where I saw the wonderful doctor I used to have, who caught my cancer when no one else could figure out what was wrong with me. He works in this office and sees walk-ins and doesn't maintain a regular set of patients now. He remembered me and then he took a look at the incisions. He was very concerned. He said, "I'm sure they did a culture at the other office when you went in last Friday so I don't need to do that." Ummmm...no...they didn't do any kind of culture. So he cultured it, gave me a super strong shot of antibiotics, added Keflex to my Bactrim and he wants to see me tomorrow. If it's not a lot better, he is hospitalizing me.  I know I'm being a big baby, but I do not want to go back to the hospital. I said when I left after 13 days in there, that I never wanted to darken their doorstep again. However, and this is the most important part, God is in control! He knows what needs to happen and He truly has had His hand on me through all this. I mean, what are the chances of me seeing my most favorite doctor, ever, who saved my life once before? Only God can orchestrate these things. I also know I don't want this infection to get so out of hand that I have a new problem, so I will do whatever I have to do...and God will be there with me...holding my hand all the way.

Not only will I trust in God - in Jesus - I will be praising His holy name!

Please keep me I your prayers, if you're so inclined, and ask for God's perfect will in all this. For His healing touch and His strength for me to handle whatever comes.

Blessings - Julie