The Long, Winding Road

Time teaches us so much. I look back over the last year and a half and I see the winding road that the Lord took me on and I see how much He taught me. So many hard times where I couldn't even imagine the end coming out well. Caught in the middle of my...for lack of a better word...ordeal, I looked to just get through the day and nothing else. It was too hard to hope for a happy ending. Just an end, that's all. I knew if I didn't live through it, that I would be with Jesus and that was fine with me. If I did live through it, would I live any kind of normal life? I had no idea and my mind couldn't go there.

Now it's been eight months since my last surgery and my wounds are closed and I haven't had another infection. Do I still react if I feel sick? Oh, yes. It will take even more time before I can feel comfortable in my skin again. I'm not the me that I started this whole thing out with. I'm different. Some of it is better different and some of it is worse.

The worst parts are not really trusting people any more. I had problems with care givers and I got forgotten by those I thought would not forget me. I hurt a long time over the latter part. It's funny how you think you know what people will do when a tragedy strikes, but you don't really know. You just hope. Unfortunately, my hopes were dashed. Was part of it my fault? Possibly, but I'm not sure in what way. I've thought and thought and can't figure out how I would have pushed anyone away. If I did, it was unintentional and certainly not what I wanted to do. I think tragedy and the ordeals that some of us go through are just too much for the average person. Even those in leadership at our churches are not really equipped mentally for the long haul that some of us go through. They want to put out the initial fire and then move on. If there's still embers burning, well, you'll just have to deal with those yourself. I'm not here to bash the church or my brothers and sisters in Christ. I'm just sharing my own unique experiences and my own feelings about it. I may never fully understand but I hope that I can grow and learn from my situation and maybe help those of you who are going through an ordeal to know that you are not alone.

I'm still dealing with the after affects of what was done to me in the operating room and all the problems stemming from that. I live with daily pain and a leg that is worse now than when I went in for the surgery. However, I try to take each day one at a time and focus on what God would have me do each day. I am very thankful for you, dear readers, as you've gone through this whole thing with me. You've read my posts on the good days and on the bad days and you've not thought worse of me for those bad days. I am so thankful for the prayers and the good thoughts! I hope you all know how dear you are to me and how much you mean to me!

Many blessings - Julie

Sunday Thoughts

I was watching Beth Moore on Living Proof on my Roku. She spoke to my heart today, as she usually does. I have been having some difficult days lately. I've been having a stomach issue for months and it plagues me. Just when I think I'm over whatever it is, it comes back with a vengeance and I'm Im so sick again. I'm also dealing with severe knee pain in the knee that wasn't replaced and I'm hobbling around and my knee is grinding and popping. I did get a shot in my knee this past week, but it didn't give me any relief. I've been weepy and discouraged. So, when I saw the Beth Moore teaching called "God of All Comfort", I knew I had to tune in. One Scripture she shared was Lamentations 1:2

Bitterly she weeps at night, tears are upon her cheeks. Among all her lovers there is none to    comfort her. All her friends have betrayed her

Now, I can't relate to the "all her lovers" part, but the part that says "bitterly she weeps; there is no one to comfort her, all her friends have betrayed her", I can relate to. That's why it's vital and I must understand that our comfort does not come from others. It can only come from God. This was the teaching that Beth was sharing. The light bulb went on! I have been focusing on how I don't hear from my church or most of my friends anymore, and I haven't for months and months. This has been shocking to me and I see now that I have been looking to them for something that only God is capable of doing. His mercies are new every morning.

Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not.

  They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. - Lamentations 3:23

 

I must look to God for my comfort when I am in pain. He understands what I am going through because Jesus, himself, endured pain and suffering and the betrayal of His friends. Remember Peter denyed he knew the Lord the night of His arrest? I always think about how Peter must have felt when Jesus looked him in the eyes after the third crow of the rooster. 

 

I'm sure I'll have other days where I am feeling discouraged and forgotten by church and family, as I am only human. I thank God, though, that He directed me to listen to this teaching and be reminded that I am comforted by Him. I am also thankful that God gave me such a wonderful family whose mercies are abundant and their love unending. Why is it that we humans have the tendency to focus on what we have lost and not what we have? I don't know but I do know I need to change my focus!

 

If you're feeling alone, abandoned, or betrayed, remember the Lord loves you with an everlasting love and He is your comfort. If you have the opportunity to watch this Beth Moore teaching, I encourage you to do so. It was so excellent and it will be a blessing to you!

 

Blessings - Julie

 

 

A Bit of This and That

It's a little after 3:00 am and I can't sleep. I have a cold ice machine that my Dad got me for my leg and when the ice runs out, the pad gets hot and wakes me up because it makes my leg hurt. It's a small price to pay, though, for the relief it brings me when it's cold! It lasts about 4-5 hours before it gets hot, so that's pretty good, in my opinion! Knowing my hubby, he'll wake up soon and be adding more ice. I don't wake him up as he takes such good care of me and I like him to have his sleep at night. I can take naps during the day so it's not a big deal if I'm up in the night.

Yesterday, I finally got the rest if my staples out of my leg. It had been over 5 weeks for the bypass and some of those staples were so imbedded in the skin, the nurse had a hard time getting them out of my leg. Thankfully, it didn't hurt, so I'm really thankful for that! Only one staple kind of hurt and that one was in my knee. I can't tell you how much better it feels to have all those staples out!

Thursday, I had my first physical therapy session outside my home and it went really well. I really like my therapist. I had him when I was in the hospital and he really understands both the knee and the restrictions of the bypass, which eases my mind. There can be no pressure put on that bypass and he's very careful. I felt like I did well, though, and I'm so glad to be going now! My legs have finally gone down enough to get pants on, although they are tight, but at least I'm not having to go every where in my nightgown anymore! lol My legs are still swollen but at least I'm seeing some progress.

Holly is doing really well and even played with her toy yesterday. I have to really watch her as she wants to jump up and down off the furniture and she's not supposed to do that yet. I'm so very happy that she's doing so well and I'm still praying that this cancer is not aggressive! She's such a cutie pie and just brings such joy to my life.

I'm going to have my family help me move my recliner back to my bedroom today. They had moved it to the living room because I was sleeping out there, but now that I'm sleeping in bed again, I want to get my recliner back in my bedroom. I'm finally feeling like I can work on my cross stitch and my stand is in my bedroom and all my things are in here. It will feel good to have things out back to normal, too. I'm also hoping to start decorating for Easter a little bit. I love decorating for the holidays and that will feel good, too.

Both my sons birthdays are this week, so I'm going to bake a chocolate cake for my oldest tomorrow and then frost it on Monday. I'm not sure, yet, what my other son will want, but I have a feeling he'll ask for my chocolate pie. Thankfully, I have one of my homemade pie crusts in the freezer, so that should be easy, if that's what he wants.

I'm hoping to go back to church tonight. It will be my first time back since my surgery and I'm so excited to go. I've missed going to church. It's such an important thing in my life!

I hope your weekend is full of blessings - Julie

Sunday Thoughts

Peaceful Sunday. A day of rest - a day of focusing on the One who created you and me. I'm so thankful for Sunday's. They help me to slow down and focus on the Lord. I also have quiet time, time to think and contemplate about the past week and the up-coming week. How did I spend my time? I always feel as though I haven't spent enough time with the Lord and Sunday gives me time to do just that. I'm especially feeling that way right now because I haven't been able to attend church for a few weeks. My pain levels and my health issues have kept me from going and I miss it. I miss my church family and sitting with them in worship and learning. I'm looking forward to getting back, but until then, I want to make sure I'm focused on the Lord and not getting lazy about my time with Him! Not that I don't do that when I go to church, but there's something about going and being with other believers that keeps you more focused. That's how it is for me anyway, so I have to be intentional about it.

I am almost done with my family room and, dear friends, I'm so happy with it! It is coming together so beautifully and I'm just thrilled. I will have the big reveal next week so be watching! Next, my living room with get a make-over of sorts and I will share that with you, too. This has been a lot of work, but it's been worth it. I love that I have purged and organized and made my house more of a home! 

So many of you are hurting right now and I want you to know that I am praying for you! You all mean so much to me and I'm so thankful for each of my readers and friends that I've met through my blog. I'm so thankful for your prayers, as well. It has blessed me beyond measure to know that I am prayed for! 

Have a wonderful Sunday! Make it a day of rest, a day of focusing on the Lord and spending special time with your family.

God bless you - Julie

A Whirlwind Time to Quiet Time

It's been a whirl-wind of activity around here for the last couple of weeks. My oldest son has his Fire Academy picnic and then last Saturday, he graduated from the Academy and became a full fledged fire fighter! Woo-Hoo!! Here's a picture of him in his gear at the picnic...

At the picnic, we got a tour of the facility where they train the recruits and then they did a drill for us to see. It was very impressive! We also got to meet his instructors and the firemen of the district. It was a fun afternoon and so amazing to see what these men go through to become fire fighters.

Here's a picture of my two sons at the picnic. First a silly one and then the more serious one. 

As a homeschool Mom, I can see how our choice to homeschool our children totally set a firm foundation for my children to grow on.Both of my sons have known that we would support them in their dreams and that they have the freedom to pursue those dreams. I also see how they are both so grounded in their faith that there is really no fear, in either of them, that they might somehow be less of a man if they decided to move on from a dream. They know their identity is in Christ and not in their earthly accomplishments. (Although, my fireman sons LOVES being a fireman and being part of that community!) We learned in our homeschooling in a way that was best for them and they have taken that learning into their college years and it has served them well. LOVE homeschooling!!

We also had the leadership picnic at our church to thank those of us who lead a Bible study or a small group. It was so nice and we really enjoyed our time there, too. Our church is very supportive of leadership and they know that it takes a lot of commitment and sacrifice on our part and our families part to do this. Plus, they also acknowledge that satan really attacks those families that do have leaders in them, and that's the truth! However, God is faithful and greater and He does prevail. 

The month of June only has one thing on the calendar (besides church, of course) and I'm so thankful! I'm really needing some "down time" as I'm exhausted and, not only that, I'm in horrible pain again. I went to my studio to paint and I don't know what I did, but I started having horrible pain and had to come back to the house. I slept in my recliner with the heating pad last night and plan on taking it easy and praying that this passes quickly. As I've said so many times before, pain is not for sissies! It takes every ounce of faith and strength I have to not allow it to define me or keep me from going forward! Thankfully, the one thing on my calendar is a back shot I had scheduled for next week. God's perfect timing - again! He is SO good!

God bless you - Julie

 

Busy and Cold!

 How many of you watched the first episode of Season Three of, "Downton Abbey"? What did you think?

I had been looking forward to seeing this and I enjoyed it, but was surprised that the wedding scenes were so extremely small! I mean, wasn't this supposed to be the event of the season?! Overall, I enjoyed it, though, and am looking forward to the next episode!

It's been a busy week around here. I had an epidural on Tuesday and then knee shots on Thursday. I've been rather sore, to say the least. lol However, I'm so thankful for the fact that I cana get these shots and help to relieve my pain. It makes life so much easier to live when you're not in horrible pain.

We had snow here again this week and it's so very cold out! We had a couple of days that were rather nice and then this winter cold hit us again. I think the wind is what is so hard to bear. I've never liked the wind.

Here's how our yard looked after the big snow storm...

Isn't that just so pretty? The white snow, with the ultra blue sky and the sun shining. God's creating is so amazing!

I'm making some gifts for some people in my life that need some extra comfort. I won't say here what I'm making, as I think a couple of them read my blog. It's been on my heart to do this and so I went to Hobby Lobby to make my purchase for the projects. As soon as I can share pictures, I will.

Our community has been hit extra hard by this flu bug going around. My doctor told me that both our hospitals are full because of this epidemic! Something really disgusting that happened - a man came in for his appointment to my pain management doctor and had his "barf bag" with him! Bleah! No one there could believe it! I mean, who does that? He probably infected everyone there with his disease!! Needless to say, I was using Purrell like crazy and have been all week. I'm praying none of us get this horrible flu, but I'm not too hopeful, especially since everyone seems to have it at church and my oldest son is in the medical field. I have been feeling rather congested today and hoping that it's not the beginning of the end. :P I'm going to stay in this weekend and try and get past all this.

My Bible study starts back up on Tuesday and I definitely want to be healthy and well for that. :)  I'm very excited about it starting again. It was nice to have the break for the holidays, but now I'm so ready to be back with my group and getting into God's Word again.

Have a blessed weekend, dear friends. Stay well and warm!

God bless you - Julie 

Update

I wanted to check in and let you all know that I am doing okay.  I have had my good days and my bad but am very thankful for the good.  I am still experiencing pain and am anxious for my back injection next week! 

I did go to my prayer meeting last week for the first time in over a year! It was so wonderful to be in prayer for our church with the precious ladies in our group.  It's a small group, but a powerful, prayer-filled, Scripture filled group.  Such a blessing to be able to go! My goal is to go to the ministries I'm involved in whenever I can this year.  I'm hoping that it's more often than not.

Did you watch the Broncos/Steelers game on Sunday?  It was a great game with an amazing end! It's so nice to have an athlete that our children can look up to.  Tim Tebow is such a wonderful man of God and I truly believe that his testimony is bringing so many to Jesus.  God bless him!

I've been working on my Bible study, reading the Word of God, writing and crocheting.  I haven't had a lot of energy the past week as I'm still battling a bladder infection (bleah) but it's been a great time of quiet reflection of quiet moments.

My boys went to visit a friend out of town over the weekend and our house was so quiet.  This Mama didn't like it too much.  lol  I'm so blessed to have my boys still living here at home and they add so much to our lives and I missed them.  They had a great time, though, and I'm so glad they were able to go and visit their friend and have a good time for a few days.  They will be having to hit the books in about a week and a half and getting away was a nice time for them just before school starts again. 

Speaking of school, my oldest son has been asked to be in the honors program at his college.  He will be traveling, be involved in community affairs and so forth.  What an honor for him and I'm very proud of him.  I don't doubt that my youngest will also be asked into this program as his grade point is also high.  They have to continue to keep the grade point up before they are asked into the program and as this was my youngest son's first full semester, it will probably be at least another semester before he's asked.  To me it just proves again that homeschooling really does work and is the best foundation for our children. 

God bless you - Julie

Stop and Smell the Roses

Sometimes you have to just stop and smell the roses. Sometimes things get so overwhelming or painful or busy that you just have to stop - and smell the roses. 

This may not be the literal roses, although my sweet hubby did cut the last of my roses in the yard and bring them into me to enjoy, but it can be anything that helps you to rest and refresh.  I find that listening to music, reading and watching favorite TV shows helps me to refresh.  I also enjoy crocheting and doing needlework, but with my pain, this isn't always possible.  It's important not to feel guilty when we need to rest, something it took me years to accomplish.  Our society pushes being busy so much, when we do rest, we sometimes feel like we're doing something wrong.  However, let us not forget that our Lord rested on the seventh day! The Lord knows we need rest and there's nothing wrong with allowing ourselves this refreshing time. 

The last two days have been pain-filled for me.  I'm having another flare-up so rest has been an absolute must.  It's ironic, really, that I had this flare-up when I did.  Last night our church had a special service for those who are dealing with chronic pain and illness and I really wanted to go, but I had too much pain to even leave my chair, let alone my house.  I was very disappointed, but it's just the way it is. 

I've rested and have been sitting with the heating pads.  I've watched the Dick Van Dyke show (it's about time TV Land actually showed some good vintage shows!) and read some of my favorite blogs.  The twinges of guilt come, but there's nothing else I can do.  It is what it is and I need to take care of myself.

My family and I are planning a new Bible study for ourselves.  It's called "Experiencing God" and it's something we've been wanting to do as a family for quite some time.  It hasn't worked out before this because I was either doing a Bible study at church or my hubby and sons were doing a Bible study.  This pain of mine has kept me from doing a Bible study at church, but it's opened the door for me to do this study with my family.  It's all in God's plan.  We just have to stop and listen to the Holy Spirit when we are going through something unplanned because it is all planned by the Lord and all has passed through His hands before we go through it. 

I am trying to rest and smell the roses that the Lord puts into my life - and there are many.

God bless you - Julie

Sunday Thoughts

"He has reconciled you by Christ's physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation." - Colossians 1:22

I am so thrilled...I was able to go to church last night after not being able to go since Christmas!! It was so wonderful being back with my church family and worshiping our Lord together! It was like heaven...and I just know this is what it will be like in heaven when we are standing before the throne of God worshiping Him - face to face!!

I got to see one of my dearest friends and give her a big hug! She is so dear to me and it's been a long time since I've seen her.  We're hoping to get together soon.  She has asked to come to my home and visit me, but I've been dragging my feet because since my injury, my house has been less than spotless!! Quite a bit less.  Now, I know that she wouldn't care about that, but my PRIDE got in the way and I just was letting this hold me back.  So, I'm hoping to have her over and I will ask her to forgive the mess, the dust, the dust bunnies, etc., etc.  LOL 

I also got to see three of my other friends I haven't seen since forever and it was just so special to see them again.  My husband said that I seemed so much more joyous since we went to church and I said that's because that's how I feel.  Getting to be with my fellowship just really brightened my outlook on life and lightened my Spirit!!

I'm just praying that I continue to heal and that I'm able to get back to my church functions again.  Although, my hubby is urging me not to start in too fast or do too much and I KNOW he is right and I will listen to his wisdom and be submissive to his wisdom. 

Today, hubby and I went to the grocery store (another thing I haven't been able to do) and I used a little motorized cart which really helped.  We got our few things, then got gas in my car...is anyone else out there as outraged as I am by the price of gas?!! It was terrible how much it cost me to fill up my little Toyota!! (Okay, stepping down from my soap box now...)  We then went and picked up our mail and then went home.  I worked on my Bible study which is really amazing! We are working on Revelation at this point in the study and I'm telling you, I am awestruck at our Lord and all that will transpire!  Such a wonderful study...it's by Beth Moore and it's called "Beloved Disciple".  It's about the Disciple John and it's so good.  If you ever get a chance to do this study, do! It is really good!

I made my family dinner tonight - BBQ chicken wings, Baked Beans and a Green Salad.  They really enjoyed it, but I'm exhausted now.  I'll have to do a tutorial on my chicken wings.  They are really good and something I came up with on my own.  Our favorite wing place went out of business - plus it was SO expensive - so I decided to come up with my own wings that we would really love and I did!!  However, it's a lot of work and I'm really, really tired tonight.  I think this is what hubby is talking about - not over-doing. :) I MUST listen to him!!

I hope you had a wonderful and blessed Sunday!!

God bless you - Julie

Ladies Christmas Brunch

I went to my Ladies Christmas Brunch on the 4th of December and it was wonderful.  I was so blessed because my dear friend co-hosted a table with me so I could be a hostess.  I really wanted to host a table this year - in fact, my name was the first on the list, but then I hurt my back and wasn't sure I could host.  My friend said, "Of course, you can host!", so I did! LOL  My son was really sweet and helped me take all my things the day before the brunch and set up my table.  Here's how it looked after I got it all decorated.

 Aren't the plates, napkins and cups beautiful?  We were provided these paper goods and seeing all the tables all set up was just beautiful.  Each lady brought her own nativity set and decorated it in her own beautiful way.  Here's a close-up of my nativity set.  My oldest son bought this for me for Christmas several years ago.

 I absolutely adore this set - not just because my son gave it to me, but because it's so beautiful and really focuses on the baby Jesus and what Christmas is all about.  It looked really beautiful on my table.  See the red candle up on the left?  I got those at Hobby Lobby and then used a gold pen and wrote, "Glory to God in the highest".  My table was simple, but I liked it.  :)

This was the theme of our brunch.  "Be still and know that I am God."  Psalms 46:10  Our speaker focused on how important it is to take the time to be still and spend time with the Lord.  It was a wonderful message. 

Before the brunch, my hubby took pictures of me and my friends.  This first one, I'm not really happy with.  My friend looks beautiful, but I'm not sure what's going on with me.  I have my face up and I'm looking down my nose! *sigh* (Don't look at that!)  This is my friend that co-hosted our table.  I've known her for about 12 years.  I met her at a Bible study and it was so wonderful to reconnect with her at our church.

Then my husband took another pic of me and my other friend.  I met her last summer through one of the Bible studies that our church had.  It's so wonderful to meet new friends - especially when they love Jesus!

I did have a lot of pain about half way through the brunch, but just about when I thought I would have to get up and go out to the lobby, our worship Pastor came up to the stage and we stood and worshiped the Lord! God has perfect timing.  This next picture is of our Women's Ministry leader.  She's a wonderful leader and I've actually known her for many years. 

Our Christmas brunch was so wonderful.  I'm so glad that my friend made it possible for me to hostess.  Yes, I was in a lot of pain after I got home and it took me about two days to recover, but it was totally, totally worth it!! There is nothing like being together with other Christian sisters and worshiping our Lord! 

Here's a picture of me in front of the beautiful tree in our church lobby.  A wonderful memento of a wonderful day!

God bless you - Julie

A Gift Worth Treasuring

Here is a picture of my poor, little teapot looking very naked and all the tea inside is getting cooler by the moment.  It's a very pretty little teapot, don't get me wrong, but . . .

Look at this - isn't this just so much better?

Isn't this just gorgeous?  I was overwhelmed when I received a package in the mail one day and opened it to find this beautiful teapot cozy. It's absolutely beautiful  and my dear friend, Eva, and the staff of the church office, sent it to me.  I was and am still overwhelmed by the thoughtfulness of this beautiful gift.

Here is a picture of my teapot and my teacup sitting ready for a sweet time of sipping tea.

I love tea and I usually always have a cup of hot tea before bed.  Of course, I always have tea while I'm watching all my British shows.  The just seem to go together.  My tea always gets cold way too fast, but now, with my beautiful teapot cozy, my tea will stay nice and hot for a long time.  This is such a beautiful gift and I will treasure it forever.

God bless you - Julie

A Journey of Pain

It hasn't been easy, this journey of pain I've been on for over two months.  Just writing "two months" shakes me to my very core.  I never, ever thought I would still be battling pain this badly after two months.  Never...but I am. I know that having two injured discs in my back (plus a third weakened one) is not child's play, yet I really thought at this point I would be doing better.  It's really a day by day process.

I've been taking pain pills and I'm noticing that they are affecting my thyroid levels, so there's that issue, too.  Some days I'm battling not only pain, but anger and/or depression.  Yes, that's to be expected with the pain issues, but add the thyroid thing in, and you have one crazy woman! lol  The morphine is really starting to affect me and I'm going to call my doctor and see about getting a smaller dosage or a pill that I can at least break in half when I need to.  I've had some really strange dreams while being on the morphine.

I have really, really been trying to handle this whole thing with grace because I know one thing - I'm exactly where God wants me to be at this time.  It's His will.  He is growing me, changing me, building character in me and breaking those unbroken areas in my life that need to be broken. Yeah, it hurts - no doubt about it. However, I would rather be in pain and following the Lord and yielding to His will than to be perfectly fine and doing my own thing without Him.  I've done that and it really stinks.  Really. Stinks.

To help myself focus on what God wants and not my pain, I've been writing out index cards with Scriptures that really speak to me or comfort me.  I have these wonderful index cards that have different colored stripes across them.  I have no idea where I got them, but I love the fact that I can color-code my Scriptures.  It has really helped me to search the Bible for Scriptures and then write them out on card.  There's something very special and healing about writing out the Word of God in long hand.  I'm working on learning these Scriptures by heart as I know hiding the Word of God in my heart is the greatest treasure. 

I've also been very blessed by my family and friends.  My family never, ever makes me feel like a burden (although I'm sure it must feel that way at times) and they have all been so supportive and kind through all this.  My friends have been so wonderful, too.  I've gotten phone calls, cards, e-cards, emails, and the other day, flowers.  They have all encouraged me and helped me to feel not so alone or isolated.

Yes, there's that.  Isolation.  When you're in pain, you're isolated.  I'm having to stay at home the majority of the time and all the activities I was doing, are put on the shelf for the time being.  It's been especially hard in the area of my serving at church.  No one has made me feel bad for my inability to serve  but it's hard to give up those things that I enjoy doing so much.  I've been so blessed, though, that they have worked with me regarding all my serving and made it possible for me to do what I can.  I have to say, I really am in the best church with the best people, ever.  The fellowship there is just that - fellowship.  What a blessing!

So, yes, I'm in pain, Yes, it's hard . . .sometimes I cry, not just because of the pain, but because of the loss of not being able to do so many things.  Through it all, though, I have one thing that never changes.  The Lord, Jesus Christ.  He is the same always and He cares and is with me through all this.  I really couldn't go through all this if I didn't have Him.  He is my Rock on whom I stand.

God bless you - Julie

Results

All the beautiful trees that my hubby has so lovingly planted are dropping their leaves. Some trees are gold, some are orange, some are brown and interspersed throughout are still those leaves that are hanging on until the last minute and they are green.  I love this time of year and the beautiful colors and crisp, cool air are one of the majors reason why.

I had my MRI last week.  I was so concerned that I would not be able to do the test because of my intense pain, but I had so many people covering me in prayer, I went through the test with NO pain! It really was a miracle.  When it was time to get up off the table, though, they brought an x-ray tech in there and she was just insistent about doing it her way.  My son came in and we were insistent that we were going to do it my way so I wouldn't get hurt.  I did get up my way, but she was rushing and pushing me the whole time and so I did have pain at that point.  I told her I couldn't like down for any of the x-rays now, so she would either have to do them while I stood or sat or I'd have to come back for the x-rays.  She did them while I stood and sat.  :)  I went home absolutely exhausted and in pain, but at least I had the tests done!

I was fortunate enough to have a doctor appointment for two days later and got the results of my tests.  I found out that I have injured one of my already herniated discs and have a new herniated disc that is bulging on both sides, plus I have a bone spur that is pressing on the nerve.  All this accounts for all the pain! She said I could do the shots but I have such bad side effects, I hesitate to do that and am praying about it.  She said the swelling will go down on it's own but I have to rest, rest, rest.

I also had a foot x-ray for my left foot that has been bothering me for 2 years.  At the time when it first started hurting and was swelling, I had told my then doctor about it.  This doctor couldn't see past my weight and said it was hurting because of that and perhaps some arthritis.  I asked him about it several times and each time, this is what he said. I didn't know much about arthritis so thought the pain and swelling was part of the illness.  I had told other doctors about my foot, but they would just note it and go on.  The doctor who finally decided that something could be wrong, was my new arthritis doctor. He said he wanted to do an x-ray to make sure it wasn't broken or hadn't been broken.  How prophetic! My foot had been broken in two places!  It healed poorly and so now I have severe arthritis in my foot.  I have to say, I'm very angry at that first doctor.  He couldn't see past my weight and allowed me to walk around on a broken foot.  I now walk really strange on that foot.  I used to think it was because of my back (which probably does contribute to it) but my foot will never be right. It is always hurting and swollen.  Always.

Having said all that, I am thankful.  Yes, thankful.  I am thankful that I can still walk, thankful that I can still do the things that I do.  Thankful for this down time because it will allow me to really study the Word of God right now in depth and also do some writing.  How often have I longed for some uninterrupted, guilt-free writing time?  God provided that!  I am thankful for my family who takes such good care of me and loves me despite my infirmities.  I am thankful for my sweet friends at church who love me and try to make sure I'm never out of touch with them or out of the loop.  I am thankful that the Lord has blessed me SO much.

"Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." 1 Thessalonians 5:18

I was able to go to my Bible study last week.  I was so thankful.  My youngest son drove me and helped me get in.  I am so thankful for the beautiful bag on wheels that my sweet husband bought me from Sam's Club.  It is really gorgeous and since it is on wheels, I can take my books and not worry hurting my back. Another thing to be thankful for! It was so good seeing my dear, sweet Sisters in Christ and I came away from the study blessed more than anyone.  My doctor has told me that I have to be careful about what I do but I asked her about going to the Bible study and she said pick one thing and that's it.  We only have one more Bible study before we go on a two month vacation, so this will work beautifully.  I can get healed and, prayerfully, will be able to return to my Bible study in January healed.

I MUST share about something that blessed me SO much this last week.  I had signed up to be a hostess for our church's Ladies Christmas Brunch.  I have always, always wanted to do this.  I was the first one to sign the sheet!! LOL  Anyway, I got a phone call from the lady that is in charge of it and she had heard I was not doing well.  Long story short, I had to step down from being a hostess.  This broke my heart more than anything that has happened during this painful episode.  I cried and cried over this.  Anyway, my dear friend, heard about this and asked me about it.  When she heard how sad I was, she said, of course, we want you as a hostess.  She worked it all out to where I can be a hostess and I don't have to be at all the meetings.  My son will help me set up my table and decorate it and I can still be a hostess!! Isn't that just amazing?  This church and fellowship has so much grace and love.  I am truly, truly blessed to be a part of this fellowship!!  More than that, I am blessed to have such a wonderful, special friend that cares so much! More than any other friend I've ever had, she makes me feel loved.  How wonderful to have a friend like that!  Another blessing to thank God for!

I am still working on this new announcement regarding my blog.  I thought I would be a lot father along by now, but I am moving rather slow these days.  Do be watching for my announcement!

God bless you - Julie 

In His Service

Last evening, I started a new Bible study at our church.  I started this Bible study as a new leader for the small groups at the Bible study.  Oh, my.  I am SO humbled, so privleged, that the Lord has called me into this ministry and service.  I was in very intense prayer for the past few days about this and asking the Lord to direct my paths and my mouth.  I just want everything to be about the Lord and not about me. 

It went very well.  My group of ladies is so sweet and we all laughed and had a wonderful time.  We are doing the Beth Moore study, "Beloved Disciple" about the ministry of the disciple, John.  We watched the introduction video last night and, of course, being that it was Beth Moore, it was wonderful.  She always, always is very thought provoking and directs all our thoughts to the Lord, Jesus.  I just know we are all going to grow so much through this study. 

I'm telling you, I woke up today SO EXHAUSTED!! I didn't even want to get up out of bed and if I hadn't been in so much pain, I wouldn't have.  I drug around here all day long just feeling like I'd been beat.  I think I was so preparing myself for this study and wanting to do the right thing, I just came shooting back down, exhausted.  I'm finally feeling better tonight and I'm sure by tomorrow, I'll be fine. 

Speaking of tomorrow, my hubby and I are going to do something we never seem to get to do anymore.  We are actually going to spend some time ALONE!  Yes, you heard right.  Alone - just the two of us.  We are going to get away on an over-night trip.  I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to this.  I have to come back for my volunteer work on Friday afternoon, but knowing we'll have a whole day and morning together is just wonderful.  Plus, it was HIS idea!  Is there anything better than that?  I think not!!

God bless you - Julie

Crazy week!

               

                                 

What a week!!  I'm telling you, I was so exhausted, I wasn't sure I was going to be able just to get through the entire week without fainting!

It all started with taking my mother-in-law to the doctor.  This is always a difficult thing to do and this visit was no exception.  Afterward, I thought it would be nice to take her to Wal-Mart because she is always wanting to go.  I had to do some shopping anyway because I was making a meal for a friend who had surgery, later on in the week.  So off to Wal-Mart we go - my mother-in-law, my hubby and I.  When we get there, we go down the list of things she wants to get.  We go to the grooming area to pick up a few things for her and then we start off for the cosmetics area and look up and she's disappeared.  Mind you, I'm riding one of the motorized carts so rushing after her is not an easy thing for me.  My hubby goes to look for her and she's 2 aisles over looking at who knows what. *sigh*  She puts a couple more things in the cart and then says, "Let's go."  Ummm, yeah.  I still had my shopping to do.  I tell her this, again, and so we start off to get the groceries I need.  She keeps saying, "Let's go", so finally I ask my hubby to go and sit with her on the bench, but I know this isn't going to pacify her for long, and so I end up not getting all my groceries because I don't want my husband to have to keep hearing, "let's go".  Now lest you think I'm being totally unfair to this poor, little, old lady, let me assure you that she has always been this way.  I stopped going shopping with her years and years ago because once she got what she wanted, she wanted to go.  I, of course, had forgotten this.  After this, she wants to have a "small cheeseburger" (I've been hearing this term my entire married life and it doesn't get any less irritating as the years go by, let me tell ya) and a chocolate malt.  This is her standard fare.  We go to Burger King and she get's her "small cheeseburger" and an iced tea.  I know at some point she's going to want that chocolate malt so I tell her I'm going to get her one.  She says, "No, I'm full." Five minutes later, guess what?  Yep, wants that chocolate malt.  LOL  You have to laugh or you'll cry.   After this we took her home where she went straight to bed.   Come to find out, while she was sitting on the bench with my husband, she admitted that she was in a lot of pain from her hip.  Now mind you, we had just been to the doctor before this, but did she tell him her hip hurt?  Of course not.  She told him she was perfectly fine, thank you very much. In fact, she was down-right beligerant with the doctor and at one point gave him a look that would have killed a snake.  He turned to us and said, "You have your hands full, don't you?" It just wasn't a good start to my week.  

The next day was a shot day because I got shots in both knees in the morning (didn't you just love that pun?).  I have to basically sit for that day with ice packs on my knees.  I did work on my Bible study and things like that, but not much else.

The next day I had to finish the grocery shopping that I needed to get done the day before.  I also had a doctor's appointment that day.  After getting home with all the groceries, I made macaroni salad, potato salad, and baked beans.  I also made two pans of cinnamon rolls.  One for my friend and one for my family.  

                              

The next morning, I had prayer meeting, but I woke up feeling so horribly exhausted and headachy, I just couldn't go.  My husband told me to go back to bed and get some rest, which I did.  After getting up, I fried two, whole chickens - one for my friend and one for our family. I then got everything packed and delivered it to my friend and her family.  She lives quite a ways from me and so I decided to get some other things done while I was out that way.  I came home and just collapsed.  

Friday, I work at the church office in the afternoon, and I was so glad it wasn't the morning as I was just beat.  The time at the office was spent making a million phone calls (at least it felt that way), making copies, putting badges together for the Bible study ladies, answering the phone, and who knows what else at this point?  It was all a blur!  I do love doing things at the office, though, so it was all fun for me.  

Saturday night we went to church and Jamie Slocum was there playing with our worship band.  I got a picture of me and Jamie and bought his latest CD, which he autographed.  I just love his music.  

Sunday, we relaxed, and I really needed that day of relaxation!

This week has been rather crazy, too, but that post is for another day.  

God bless you - Julie

A blessed week

This is how I'm spending my day today - except without the kitty.  I'm really tired today.  It's been a busy week and today I just woke up and knew that I wasn't going to move much from my bedroom.  

I attended the Saturday night services at church last night so I could sleep in today, which I did.  I slept until 10:30 and, honestly, I could have slept a lot longer.  I've spent the day in my jammies, writing, watching one of my favorite shows, "Burn Notice", and just relaxing.  My oldest son even went out and got us honey bbq wings, salad and pizza for them, so this gal didn't have to cook.  Yippee!!  My kitchen sink is a total mess, but that can be dealt with easily enough tomorrow.  I'm just too exhausted to think about doing anything like that today. 

Here's my week in review: 

Monday, I worked around the house.  Still going through things and keeping my house in order.  Purging is wonderful but it takes time so you have to be patient and just keep working at it day by day.  I also did paperwork and all those things we have to do, day by day.  

Tuesday, I had knee shots again.  I get these done every six months. I have to basically stay off my knees for the day so Tuesday was spent in the recliner, on my computer, writing.  

Wednesday, I painted the bags that we are doing for charity.  One is for veterans with spinal cord injuries.  The bags can hang on their wheelchairs or off the side of the bed.  The other bag is for women veterans.  Very good project and I'm so glad to be a part of it.

Thursday, you know about.  That was the day of not breathing well.  I missed my prayer meeting that day and that's always a bummer for me.  I just love meeting with my friends and praying for the needs in our church.  I pray at home, though it's not the same.  There's nothing like praying with 3-4 ladies before the throne of God.  

Friday, I felt good enough, I painted the memory box that is for the memory box program.  These boxes are given to parents whose baby has died in the hospital.  Their few things are put into the box as a keepsake.  It's a small yet wonderful way to touch the lives of parents who have lost so much.  In the afternoon, I worked in the church office.  It was really, really quiet that day and I was able to crochet and have a quiet afternoon.  I have a feeling that will be the last quiet day for awhile because we will be preparing for our Ladies Bible studies and that's always a huge undertaking.  I love doing things in the office, though, and it's such a privilege to work for my church and the Lord.  

Saturday, I went to my painting group.  My friend joined me and we had such a good time.  The first part of the meeting, we had a business woman come in and demonstrate her product.  We haven't done that before, that I'm aware of, and I hope we don't do that again.  It was like sitting through one, long info-commercial, live.  Bleah.  I also didn't like some of the tacky comments this woman made to a couple of the ladies in the group.  Needless to say, I didn't buy any of her product because it was outrageously expensive, and maybe this sounds tacky, but I didn't care for her personally.  Hard to buy something from someone that you don't particularly care for.  After this was all over with, we got to the fun business of painting.  We did a really cute pattern of sunflowers on glass that had been etched (that was the product - etching cream) and even after painting for over 20 years, I still am learning.  The teacher taught me several things I didn't know and I'm all ready seen an improvement in my painting.  I love that!! 

Last night, I went to church and was once again so blessed!! Our associate pastor gave the lesson and he always seems to speak to me about where I'm at.  My sons went with me last night and my hubby went today.  Someone has to be at the house with my mother-in-law.  I'm getting used to this, but still miss doing things (especially worship) as a whole family. 

 It's been a busy week, but a good week, all in all.  I'm always so thankful for all the Lord does in my life.  God is so good.


God bless you - Julie

Leadership & more

I woke this morning to rain, rain, and more rain.  I had a Leadership class at church this morning so was very concerned about getting out of here.  For those of you have haven't read my blog very long, I live on dirt roads and rain is the last thing you want to see when you have to go somewhere!  Anyway, I did make it out and to my class.  I went early to help the Asst. Pastor set up for the class, however, when I got there, everything was done!  Another couple had made it there before me and had everything going, so that was nice.  The people at our church are so wonderful about helping out and pitching in where needed. The class was great and I learned a lot.  It was 3 hours and we learned all about being a leader for a small group, or in my case, the leader of a group in our ladies Bible studies.  Speaking of which, I found out yesterday that I will be a leader for the weekly, Tuesday night study.  It's a Beth Moore study and I am more than excited about being a leader for this study!  I also bought all my Bible study books - there were 4.  I will definitely take 2 of the studies and possibly 3.  I always like to have all the books because I learn so much whether I can be in the study or not.  I would have been in one study, but it falls on the same night as the one I'll be a leader for, however, that won't stop me from doing the study on my own. 

I had a bad night last night.  I just couldn't sleep and had a lot of pain.  Why is it that when I need to be really fresh and rested for something important, I have a bad night? I had to really drag myself out of bed this morning and was rather tired all morning.  When I got home, I got my jammies on and hit the sack.  I slept for 4 hours!  I'm feeling much better and am hoping I sleep well tonight so I can be refreshed for church in the morning.  I usually always go to church on Saturday night but for some reason I kept thinking it was Friday!  I didn't realize I was missing church until I woke up and looked at the clock and realized that church had all ready started.  I don't know why I kept thinking it was Friday. I guess that's what tired does to me.

Things have been better on the home front.  I have taken back my house and am more relaxed no matter what happens with my mother-in-law.  I just do what I need to do and am in control of what happens. I have a lot of prayer warriors surrounding my family and me and I know that makes a huge difference, too.  Yes, she still does crazy things and says mean things, but I don't allow them to affect me like I did.  I'm just praying about everything and giving it all to the Lord.

 Yesterday when I worked in the church office, I had my first bad day.  I did some really goofy things!  For one, I had to copy all the class books for today's class, 3-hole punch them and put them in notebooks.   Everything went fine until I punched the holes in them.  I was be-bopping along just punching along and then I really looked at them.  I thought, "Gee, those holes look too far up on the page!"  Sure enough, I checked them inside of the notebook and they were way off. Oh, the horror!  I called my supervisor to tell her what I had done and she was SO sweet and assured me that she had done it before and not to worry about it.  She told me to recopy them (I had done ELEVEN like that before realizing it!) and redo them. I was almost in tears over this whole thing.  I calmed down and you better believe that I checked each and everyone one as I punched them and double checked the settings on the 3-hole punch.  I also missed two calls that came in because I was in the other room and someone else had to answer the phone.  I felt bad about that, too.  I also had a hard time finding the coffee so I could make the coffee for this mornings class.  It was just one thing after another.  I felt very inept, believe me.  I hope that's the only day I have like that!!  My assistant Pastor came out to my desk and asked if I was all right (I had told him about the punching mishap).  I told him, "Well, I was going to have a conniption fit, but then I decided not to."  LOL  We all had a good laugh and I felt good that I didn't allow my crazy afternoon affect my sense of humor. 

I hope you have a very blessed Sunday!! Go praise your Lord tomorrow and worship with your church.  

God bless you - Julie

Computers, Husbands, and other such stuff

Okay, for those of you who love Norton AntiVirus, you may want to stop now and read no further. For those of you who don't like it or don't care, you may continue.

I am so horribly disgusted with Norton that I could scream and, actually, did! I finally got so upset with it tonight after days of problems, no email and other such nonsense, I uninstalled it and went back to my beloved McAfee, which I'm downloading as I type this. I was really happy with McAfee, but the price was more than Norton, so I went the cheap route and have paid for it ever since. However, when I went to the McAfee website tonight, they are having a fantastic deal and so I was able to get the program for our three computers for less than I paid for that horrible Norton at Costco. Never, never again will I not get McAfee!!

It's not worth the frustration and aggravation that my hubby and I go through!! It's especially upsetting to my hubby as his computer is his business and when he can't do things on there, it's not only frustrating, it affects business and we can't have that!

Speaking of business, I am now officially working in my husbands home office. I moved my computer in here and have a "new" desk where I will do all his paperwork. I'm very happy with how we arranged things and while there is still more organizing to do, it's very nice and we are both really happy to be working together again. I know it's going to help him, plus it's helping me to fill some of my time that used to be spent with my homeschooling. Now that my last son is in 11th grade, he doesn't need his Mom's help hardly at all. It's a blessing and a curse, if you know what I mean.

I've been so excited at how the new ministry I'm doing at my church is going. I've had great feedback on it and I'm so glad to be able to serve the Lord in this way.

Oh, my! I know I've talked about this before, but I must tell you again about my bible study I'm doing with the ladies of my church. It's the Beth Moore, "Believing God" study.

Tuesday's teaching was SO powerful, I'm telling you, ladies, I just sat there and wept the whole time! This study is bringing me closer than ever to my Lord and is making me see how awesome it really is to BELIEVE GOD!! If you ever get a chance to do this study, DO IT! You'll be so blessed and enriched by it!!

Saturday is my youngest son's birthday! I can't believe he will be 17 years old! Now my children will be 17 and 19. Not exactly "children" anymore but young men. They are great, though, and this birthday is going to be a great one for him!!

I'll be posting pictures of the birthday boys soon!

God bless you ~ Julie

Giving God Control

Why is it so hard for me to remember that God is in control and not me?!! Why is it so hard for me to remember that if I keep my eyes on Jesus, He will make all situations work out for my very good? Oh, that I would remember that!!

As I said in my last post, I had a traumatic day on Tuesday. I got myself all upset and everything really worked out for the best. I lost sleep, stewed and simmered over the situation, and all the time the Lord had his hand over the whole thing. Silly me!

Today has been good. I've been organizing my homeschooling area and purging things I don't need anymore. With my oldest in college now, I only have my youngest son to homeschool and he is a junior so I don't need a lot of the things I've hung onto for so many years. I really, really need to get through my huge stack of magazines and donate them to someone else. They are taking over the living room and my bedroom and it's time to let them go. The older I get, the more I want to live simply. I don't want to spend my days dusting nic-nacs and trying to find places for stuff. I don't need more stuff and I don't want more stuff!!

I went to Curves this afternoon for my workout and met a really nice lady that works there. We got to talking about our churches and I think she's going to come to mine. She definitely wants to come to the ladies bible study they are having this fall. I can't wait - it's going to be the Beth Moore bible study on David. Any other Beth Moore fans out there? I just love her studies and she is so "right on" biblically!!

Tonights dinner is going to be really simple. Fish patties, seasoned mashed potatoes and broccoli. Nothing fancy, but yummy, nonetheless!

Our New Church Home

A few weeks ago, our church had a division and forced the Pastor out. It's been a very emotional time for our family as we loved our pastor and we were shocked by the whole situation. It was truly a "personality" conflict and was very un-biblical and cruel what they did to my pastor and his wife. We have continued to support them through prayers and encouragement as they face a new phase in their life.

This whole situation left our family without a church home! We prayed about it and I'm always checking out the different web sites of the churches in the area. There was one that I noticed had a new pastor. We had been to this church before, but it just wasn't a good bible based church and we didn't feel comfortable. However, with a new pastor, we decided to try it again. We absolutely LOVE it! The Pastor is about as bible based as you can get. He goes through the bible, verse by verse, which is wonderful. Our family has their foundation in Calvary Chapel. That is where we all were saved and truly learned the word of God. They go through the bible verse-by-verse. We knew we had seen our Pastor before and couldn't figure it out, but found out today that we all went to Calvary Chapel together all those years ago. That's his foundation, too, and he teaches the same way. The worship is wonderful and so are the people. It's truly an answer to prayer for our family. Today was our 3rd time there and we "filled out the card". You know what I mean - new visitors are asked to fill out a card and drop it in the offering basket. I never do this until I know if I'm going to continue going to that church. We knew today that we would make this our church home. It's also such a blessing because we only have to travel 5 minutes to get there! We were traveling to another town to go to church before and it would take us 40 minutes. What an additional blessing not to have to get up so early and spend so much time driving! God truly does bless us more than we can imagine!


Here is a picture of our new church:

The even more amazing thing is that he has his messages on CD (we like to get the messages that speak to us and listen to them again at home) and they are free!! Again, what a total blessing! It's so hard to change churches, but this has been a wonderful experience and I hope and pray that this will be my final church home.