Wednesday, February 23, 2011


"Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.  Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." Romans 5:1-5

When I had cancer, this was the Scripture that I clung to.  I prayed that the Lord was going to use this horrible disease for good and that He would bring me through the other side, hopefully more pliable and usable to Him.  He did.  I can remember as I would go through every test, the surgery, the treatment, the radiation - I would cling to Him and this Scripture.  How many times in my mind did I sing, "There's Just Something about that Name" as I lay on a table for yet another test or treatment? I can't even number it.  Each praise to Him, though, did just what this Scripture brought me hope.

Now I struggle with something else.  Pain.  Pain that comes in red-hot flashes and searing whiteness at times. Pain that is dull and always a reminder that I live with it as my constant companion. This is a different kind of trial because I'm not as certain that I will come out the other side;  I don't know that I will ever be pain free.  However, one thing has not changed.  Hope. Praise. Joy. Not every day.  I would be asking you to be a fool to believe that every day when I wake up, I'm joyful when I realize that it's yet another day with my horrible companion. Joy is not a feeling (for me anyway) it's an action.  I have to find the joy - joy in the Lord! I don't always succeed.  Some days I just feel sorry for myself and I don't even want to find the joy.  That's okay because I am, after all, flesh and I do hurt.  What makes the difference is that I have many more days of joy because of my Lord Jesus and what I know He is doing in me during this time of pain. 

Now not only do I have my Romans Scripture that I cling to, I have this new Scripture in James. Why? It's one word - steadfastness.  I'm realizing that I am going to have to be steadfast in my faith. Living with pain requires me to be steadfast in my love of God, my faith and hope in Him! If I rely on myself, or even my doctors, I'm sunk.  I cling to this Scripture because I'm housebound right now. I haven't been able to go to church for weeks and weeks and I've had to give up leading a Bible study and I can't do any of the other things that I love to do at church or anywhere else for that matter! So, I cling to Him. He is forcing me to see that when all is said and done, I only have Him. I won't find joy or faith anywhere else except through my faith in Jesus - in my clinging to Him!

"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.  And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.  If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.  But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.  For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord;
he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.  Let the lowly brother boast in his exaltation, and the rich in his humiliation, because like a flower of the grass he will pass away.  For the sun rises with its scorching heat and withers the grass; its flower falls, and its beauty perishes. So also will the rich man fade away in the midst of his pursuits.
Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him."  James 1:2-12

My prayer is that my faith would grow - that in testing my faith, the Lord would find me steadfast and that He would make me perfect and complete to be used by Him.  I also pray that I would be joyful in my knowledge that He is with me and that He is bringing me to a new level of faith in Him.  Of course, I am also praying for healing because living with pain tests me beyond what I feel I can bear at times. In the final analysis, though, I look for one thing - the crown of life which God has promised to those who love him...and I DO love Him!

God bless you - Julie


  1. Joy is not a feeling (for me anyway) it's an action. I have to find the joy - joy in the Lord! I don't always succeed......First off..your right,,IT is an action!!! Second the physical realm you may not be 'succeeding', but we do not walk by sight but by faith. In the spiritual realm, girl, you are MORE than a conqueor..IN CHRIST...Physical pain is....sigh...I can't even begin to describe how taxing it is not only on the body but mentally, emotionally and spiritually. When I was dealing with physical pain a few weeks back, I kept praying and crying out to our Lord God for those that live with this 24/'s a battle that is SO fierce, SO constant, SO tiring.

    I prayed that He would give you (and others) the power to keep on fighting,,and to find rest in Him as you battle with that pain.

    I only lived with it for a few weeks.

    Your post exuded joy joy joy..even in the midst of such heartache of pain that you carry around girl. Jesus definitely shined!

  2. What a beautiful post! Love the verses. I believe that our Lord is growing you in a new and stronger way. Faith...can be so hard when there is so much uncertainty. Just keep repeating God's promises to us...

    As always, your in my prayers...


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