Sunday, January 27, 2013

Poor Decisions = Pain but God is Good!

It's been an interesting week. A week of looking at myself and the choices that I make and why I make them. It all started on Tuesday as I was getting ready to go to my Bible study. As you know, I'm a leader for the 2012-2013 study on Genesis, which is a huge blessing to me in so many ways. Anyway, I was putting my things in my old green bookbag that I used to use for homeschooling meetings. Why I used that particular bag, I have no idea. I put my study, my pens, my notebook, my folder with my snack information in it, and my huge, heavy study Bible. Then I did a really brilliant thing. I flung that bag over and across my shoulder and started out to my car.  By the time I made it to my car, I knew that I had done something really stupid because my back was killing me.  I figured by the time I made it to the church offices, I would be feeling better. I also realized that taking my huge study Bible - while wonderful - is really stupid to lug around. It is so heavy and difficult to manage.

When I got out at the church offices, I knew that I was in bad shape. I went in and talked to my leadership and told her I might have to go home early if my back didn't feel better soon. She is so sweet and just looked in my eyes and said, "Go home now and take care of yourself." Thankfully, I have a wonderful co-leader so I knew that it was the right thing to do. By the time I got home, I knew this was bad. I immediately went to my recliner with my heating pad and prayed.

The next day, my pain management doctor's nursing assistant called to remind me of my knee shots on Thursday. I asked her if there was an available appointment open for me to get a back shot as I was in a lot of pain. She said the doctor was completely filled up and there was no way. I told her "okay" and said I would call the appointment desk and see when they could get me in. I no more hung up then my phone rang again and it was the nursing assistant telling me that the man after my knee shots had cancelled his appointment and I could have a back shot right before my knee shots. Praise God!

On Thursday, I got my shots and was told by my doctor to take it completely easy for a few days to allow this shot to work and get the swelling in my spinal area down. So, that's what I've been doing. I've been sleeping in my recliner again to help my back and taking really good care of myself by not over-doing it and just letting it heal. Thankfully, tonight I'm feeling much better and I'm feeling as though I'm definitely on the mend.

Here's my questions for myself:

1. Why did I feel the need to use a bag that was going to put a lot of pressure on my back?
2. Why didn't I use my backpack on wheels that my oldest son bought me for just this reason?
3. Why the need to take my huge study Bible instead of a regular Bible or even my Nook?
4. Why didn't I think all this through instead of being in a big hurry and just forgetting about taking care of myself the proper way?

The answer to all these questions is that I'm still living in the past. I still think I can handle that bookbag. That I'm "strong enough" to handle everything. I don't allow myself to have frailties. I don't take the time to think things through at times. I just go for it and pay for it afterward.

I'm so thankful that the Lord saw me through this. I'm thankful that the pain hasn't been permenant and that I do seem to be getting better. I'm thankful that I can learn from this and not make the same mistake again.

I picked out a Bible from my shelf (I don't even want to talk about how many Bibles I have - can one ever have enough?!) that will be wonderful to use at the study. It's not heavy and I'm ready to make new notes in my Bible for this study. I'm remembering to not lift anything heavy and I now have my backpack on wheels out and ready for Tuesday night. I will also leave a little extra early and not be rushed and make poor decisions.

So there's my week and my resolutions all in one swoop. I am praising the Lord for his provision this week, for the kindness of leadership at my church, for the blessing of my co-leader being able to step up at the last minute, and for my pain management doctor and the man who cancelled his appointment. If all that wasn't God at work, I don't know what else it could have been.

Praising God - for HE IS GOOD!!

God bless you - Julie

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