Sunday Thoughts

I am finally getting over my cold/flu! My goodness, that really hung on! I'm still a little stuffy and have an occasional cough, but it's a far cry from where it was so I'm very thankful for that.

What I am experiencing right now is anxiety. After thinking about this surgeon and all the different things she has told me, I'm very concerned about her and have lost all confidence in her. I spoke with my main home nurse and told her everything the doctor told me and she immediately said I need to get a second opinion. I trust my nurse so much and when she said that, it really got my attention!

When I initially went to this surgeon, she said this was going to be an in-and-out procedure. Overnight stay at the hospital and then I would be done. How shocking to wake up and find I have an ileostomy and that nothing has been solved! She never, ever even mentioned that I might have to have an ostomy of any kind! Then she said I would have that for 3 months and then she would do the reconstruction. She also said she had removed the bad part of the colon. Now, it's been over 5 months since my surgery, I still have the ileostomy, I am now being told that she didn't remove the colon and she is making huge demands on me before she will do the surgery. In other words, she is blackmailing me.

If she does anything wrong, I could end up with a permanent ostomy and, honestly, I don't feel I could handle that. I have absolutely no confidence that she will do the right thing or that she even really knows what she is doing.

So, with that in mind, I'm going to see my Gastro doctor on the 22nd of February and I'm going to tell him of my concerns and ask for him to refer me to a different surgeon. If he won't help me, I will go to my primary care doctor and ask her for help. I cannot leave this to chance with my current surgeon. I have a really bad feeling about her now and I know never, ever to go against my gut feelings. It's the Holy Spirit warning me and, when I don't listen, bad things happen!

So, dear friends, I am asking for your prayers! Please have the Lord put compassion on my doctor's heart to refer me to someone else, please have God lead me to the perfect surgeon who knows what they are doing, and please ask the Lord to calm my anxious heart.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

-Proverbs 3:5-6

Thank you for allowing me to unburden my heart and for your concern and prayers! I am so thankful!

Blessings - Julie